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Articles: My Experience | Your enemy is your greatest friend
- Mrs. sharmila Sanka
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A person who smiles at us and strives to make us smile even in times of sorrow is considered to be a Friend. A person who intends to make us cry even in times of happiness by their thoughts, looks, gestures and actions is treated as an enemy. Friends are of various kinds and so are the enemies. Few kinds of friendship comprise hostile feelings where as few kinds of enmity encompasses kindness. But I opine an enemy is a greatest friend as one gradually steps up on the ladder of ‘Experiences’ in the life sojourn.
When the mind is tender with age, when the heart bubbles with joy for friendship, when happiness but never gloomy experience is valued, we choose people who smile at us as our friends. The mystery and history of enemies starts from this moment on. Be careful not to attract enmity of even few people while making friendship with others. We tend to neglect some people whom we dislike as we start liking some so called friends. Do not hate anyone in the process of making friends. This will help you live a balanced life between friends and enemies.
But how does one become an enemy? Is there any process for enmity to take place between two persons? Though we do not know each other well, we tend to have some hostile feelings towards them absolutely for no reason. The reason for this is attributed to their hostile relation in their past lives. Some people develop enmity on others due to jealousy, beauty, skills, knowledge, prosperity, education, good relationship, competition with others and due to many more reasons in the world.
How do such enemies act in your presence? They act as if they care the least for you; as if they are trying to neglect your presence; moving closely with people whom they don’t even know well; trying to expose theirs talents though exist or not;
act lovingly to people around them except you; laugh unnecessarily showing as if they are not at all affected by your division and that they are very happy without you and so on and so forth.
How should you treat your enemies when they act astray? You will be angrier to look at all the happenings. Instead of getting raged, be quiet. Give them some time to think of all the senseless things they have done so far. When any person is angry, it is wise to leave them alone if they are not soothed by your pacifying words. Human being has become so egoistic that he is unable to bear even a single word of negation. Every limb in his body is composed of ego which leads to hatred and many more ill feelings in him. The best thing is try to control his egoistic nature which moves in him like the wind whose direction cannot be a matter of expectation. If you also act like them, what is the difference between you and your enemies? After calming yourself, think with broad heart, tolerant mind and try to escape from their negative attitude. But is it easy to initially recognize if they are your enemies? How to discriminate between friends and enemies? Some friends might actually be your enemies. How to react in such cases?
All people seem alike until we face good or bad consequences with them. You ought to be careful while speaking even one word before any person. They initially act as friends but if something goes wrong against their expectation or the moment they feel jealousy about you or the instant they change their minds to develop friendship with other person, they then put on their costume of enmity. But without realizing all this, you behave as if they are your good old friends and you share almost anything with them.
Some people have the knack of forcing you to throw up all your inner thoughts and untold actions by their mere sweet talk. They even speak ill about others and indirectly paves way for you to take part in it and thus fill their soiled minds of hunger. They act like a memory card of a computer and imprint all such ill talk and then wait for the right moment to let it out with the ornaments of falsehood attached to little truth they heard about. They act as friends and let alone acting, they are actually your friends today. But as days pass on, as life changes, one fine day you and your so called friend will have an argument or misunderstanding and here is an opportunity for her or him to break all your relations with almost any friend of yours by defaming you. They even go to the extent of approaching your friends with the only intention of breaking your glass like relation with them. Even a minute negative incident in your life like your ill health or loss of anything will be made visible and they make a mountain out of an ant-hill. They don’t speak truth but they speak falsehood, create stories about you and they even use your language and few incidents of your friends you normally narrate to them to make your own friends disbelieve you practically to the maximum extent. You might have actually told few incidents of your friends to them like any other common matter but they add stuff and untruth to that actual incident and make them believe you are wrong in every way possible. But do people listen to all this non-sense?
People in general believe anything people say except the truth. Sweet falsehood is the trend in this modern age and almost any one believes this as it is fascinating to the inquisitive mind. If they are the people who believe in what they hear, they also add little spice of falsehood to the existing falsehood and this becomes a chain with other people’s talk and it goes on and on forever. At last there arises commotion in every heart where as the fire like rage is cooled down in some one’s heart and that will be your friend VS. enemy who initiated all this whose only aim was to break your good relation with all of your friends and other people and this has been fulfilled now.
An enemy’s mind is more poisonous than a snake. When you are asked to choose between an enemy and a snake, better choose the latter as you will be dead at once. If you choose the former, you will die every minute with their poisonous actions and behaviour unknown. How to react when you are tied up in the web of hostile relations?
Be positive even amidst negative minds. Remember your true friends do not let their faith in you wither away with falsehood. They remain as your good friends forever. There are some people who are sensible enough to think that there should be two hands to create sound and all this wouldn’t have been possible with a single hand or a mind. There are some good people though not your friends who frankly tell the person trying to speak ill of you that they do not believe in such ill talk and they prefer not to hear such things anymore further. To a certain extent it acts like a slap on their face. But will the truth be ever known to all the people?
Time is the only factor which determines one’s own actions good or bad. Time alone dictates the truth and not your nobility or truthfulness. So pray to the divine to let the truth be revealed but never lose your confidence in yourself. It then becomes your curse and their greatest boon; do not give another chance to them. Often your enemies tend to neglect the truth that Life is a Circle and is full of actions and reactions and that one day they will be in a situation you are in today and it is then they realize their mistakes and sins. They fail to feel the presence of the eyes of divinity watching their bad actions building up in heaps only to be faced in the future. Until then they keep making the same mistakes again and again. But you have to smile at life and walk on those bitter experiences to become a perfect being. Actually, God is your true friend and there is no third person who can understand you better and who can mirror you as good as Him. Be cautious your entire life not to speak anything that involves any person who is absent at that moment. Speak what your heart prompts directly before the person but never speak behind anyone even for fun. Fun-talk can be narrated as stories by your enemies. But truly speaking, enemies are true friends.
You both appear as enemies to the world but your enemy is your greatest friend. Without your enemy you couldn’t have learnt all the bitter lessons in your life- a lesson not to blindly trust any one; a lesson not to speak anything even for fun about anyone; a lesson to learn to think 100 times before you speak one word; Your enemies are chosen by you indirectly to teach you lessons and to mirror your actions. Don’t feel bad you lost your year or two of people’s friendship; instead be happy you learnt the life lessons you are to learn in 10 or 100 births in just one year in one lifetime. After you have walked on the path of ‘Bitter Experiences’ let go of enmity within you forever so that it doesn’t follow you as a murky shadow in your life. Rest of your life you will then be able to walk with confidence and truthfulness on the path of ‘Happiness’ which in fact helps you move further and farther, higher and higher in your life sojourn.
“Smile at your foes to hack the roots of hostility; pray for them to learn to tread on the right path.” –Sharmila Sanka
Written on December 9th 2005
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