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Articles: Humour | I was a mow-glee once!
- Mr. Giri
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Simple one here, look,
in Ruskin's jungle book
no barber eyes mowgli's mop
waiting to give a gleeful chop
explains mowgli's hirsuite look.
Now the story!
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In India my visits to barber shop weren't intellectually challenging. I usually said 'medium' or 'the usual' and the barber knew what that meant. He was quick, never made me look much worse than i already was, and i was happy.
Here in the US, a barber shop visit is a whole new ball game. One wrong word and you could end up with a tonsured head.
I was flipping a magazine, when he politely said 'Sir' indicating it was my turn. I walked up, sank in to the chopping chair and said 'medium'. He asked me patiently 'what NUMBER?', i said 'WHAT number??', he said 'like 2,3,4'. I didn't know whether that meant inches on centimeters - but i figured since metric system isn't so common in the US, he must've meant inches; and 2 fell in my ballpark of medium. So i said 2.
Before I could see a sample of 2 or change my mind or both, he created a 2 inch wide valley that was hair breadth away from a tonsure, in the middle of my pate. I was aghast, but there was no use resisting at that point. I let him mow the rest too. Couldn't use a comb for 2 months.
I grew wiser since then, now I mention the side numbers and top numbers also.
But the other day, in another shop, I said 2 on the side and 5 on the top. He (a different he) signalled me to a sample head that was a victim of fresh-and-stylized-tonsuring and asked 'do you want that?'. An emphatic NO without much thought. He said 'then say 2 on the side, and medium on the top'. Yessir! Whatever it takes to make you understand i need a normal medium haircut; someone mowed me gleefully once, I won't be a mow-glee* again.
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*mow-glee: short for someone's who's mop was mowed-gleefully :))
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