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Articles: Humour | Jokes
- Prof. venkata ramanamurty mallajosyula
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1.Once Americans designed and developed a car which was sent to the Japanese for further improvement. They added hydraulic suspension and sent it to Britain.
The Britishers added ergonomically designed seats and dispatched it to the Chinese for
more. The Chinese added a dash of red to its interiors and sent the car to India.
The smart Indian Engineers appreciated all the features and painted : “Made in India”!
2. Boss appreciating her , spoke to his secretary, “Miss Desai, how do I praise You ? You are beautiful, properly dressed and also punctual.”
Miss Desai warmly acknowledged with a, ”Thank you, Sir.”
'I am sure you must have got inspired and motivated by my praise.”
“Yea, sir.”
“Now once you are out of the spell of my praises, we will discuss the typographical, grammatical, wrong - placement of full stops, commas and other silly errors that you have made in the last letter.”
3After the film interval, Kirit and his wife were making way to their seats when lights went off and the film started, Reaching the 1st row, Kirit asked the nearest man:
“While moving out during the interval, did I step on your feet by mistake?”
The man said in a grumpy voice ‘yes”.
“Fine. Come dear, this is our row,” said Kirit and coolly occupied their seats.
4.A fat lady weight almost touched 100 kgs. She went to a Doctor and while standing on the weighing scale asked him, “How do I compare me excess weight against my height.”
The doctor was indeed very clever and replied in a manner that would not hurt his patient,” Madam, you are not overweight, you are short by 25 cms in height!”
5.Look at all the milk which has spilt. Couldn”t you keep a watch for a while?”
“I clearly followed your instructions from beginning till the end. I saw the entire process of the milk getting boiled, bubbles raising and then falling down., the turbulance that generated the larger ones to come up .Then in one swift moment, the surging liquid began reaching the climatic height of the vessel’s brim and soon the flow was unstoppable. The flow turned into a small rivulets that started gushing all over the platform running towards the sink, where it reached its ultimate destination and merged into eternity. I did keep an eye on the entire proceedings, I suppose”. Said the vividly describing literary husband.
6.A skunk sat on a stump
The stump thunk the skunk stunk
The skunk thunk stump stunk
7.Betty Bitta bohght some butter.
“But” said she, “this butter is bitter!
If I put it in my batter,
It will make my batter bitter.
But a bit ‘o better butter
Will but make my batter better.”
So she bought a bit ‘o butter
Better than the bitter butter,
Made her bitter batter better.
So ‘t was better betty botta
Bougt a bit o’ better butter.
8.Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, wher’s
The peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
9.Wife: Oh! Look at that lovely- dopey couple kissing.
Why don’t you too?
Husband : But, I don’t even know her!
Prof: Venkata Ramanamurty Mallajosyula
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