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Articles: Humour | JOKES- EXPRESS MAILS
- Prof. venkata ramanamurty mallajosyula
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1 “.Isn’t it shameful that throughout our leader’s speech this man was fast asleep.”
But, to inform me about this why did you have to wake me up.”
2.Male: The saying goes- A lady’s brain lies in her toe.
Female: That’s why you males bow down on our feet.
Male: We do so to keep a tab on whether it is still there or moved out elsewhere.
3.Before dying the wife extracted a promise from her husband that he would donate such a thing at the temple, which would perpetuate her memory in the eyes of all.
Immediately after the mourning ceremony, the husband presented a loud speaker.
4.Husband: Take this, I have brought some sweets and snacks.
Wife: But, why did you buy them when you knew that my parents are not going to come?
Husband: That’s the reason why I brought them!
5.Wife: My mother had been insisting never to marry.
Husband: I was totally oblivious of the fact that your mother was my well-wisher.Hs she advised me, I would not have gone through this ordeal.
6.A rag-tag of a woman in a night gown and disheveled hair rushed out of the flat, shouting at the garbage collection van which had just moved next door.
Reaching the van, she panted and asked the collector, “Am I late for the disposal?”
“No, No.”
Again shouting on top of his voice, the driver said, “Not ay all madam. Just jump in!”
7.A huge crowd gathered around a lake where shouts of a drowning youth were heard. Cries of Help, Help” excited the crowd but none was stirred to help.
Out of the blue, an old man was seen leaping in the waters, incidentally, in the direction of the drowning youth. Somehow, he managed to save the youth and bring him on the bank.
The crowd by then got restive and began showering praises on the old man who displayed presence of mind saving a life. One among the crowd said, “Great show, uncle! What an exemplary act of courage!”
“Oh! That’s all right. But first let me lay my hands on the one who pushed me in,” retorted the angry old man.
8”You have no right to speak about ladies .You are not married and hence, not qualified to speak about them. What would you know about them without marriage?”
“ I know them well, so I did not marry! “
9.Judge: It is alleged that you maintained illicit relationship and then cheated your husband.
Accused wife: In fact, the situation is quite contrary to what you have stated. He cheated me by saying that he was going out of town.
10. One old man to another: I tend to forget due to old age.
Second old man: In my case, it is just the opposite. I rarely recall what I forgot !
11.”When you went abroad wityh your family did you see poverty there?
“Oh! We not only saw but experienced it too.That is why we returned early.”
12.Host: Will you have water?
Guest: No.
Host: Care for a drink?
Guest: Oh! Don’t bother.
Host: Then at least have some breakfast. .
Guest: No, but as you are insisting so much, I will have lunch and then move.
13.Rajesh: My wife and I never argue or fight. We have arrived at an understanding.
Mahesh: What kind?
Rajesh; You see on trivial issues like purchasing clothes, household goods, excursions etc., she decides and I accept.
But you see, on issues of vital importance like Narmada Dam, environmental Crisis, World war III, THE Afghan war, the WTC Bombings, etc., she blindly follows me.
-Prof. Venkata Ramanamurty Mallajosyula
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