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Articles: Humour | Laughing Stuff
- Prof. venkata ramanamurty mallajosyula
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1.On a moonlit night, a poet was crossing a river in a boat. Watching the ambience, the inspired poet said to the boatman, “Brother, even in this beautiful environment, you don’t seem to be happy?”
The boatman replied, ”Sir, I am illiterate.”
The poet lamented, ”Then you have wasted all your life in these waters!”
After sailing in calm waters, the boat ran in to a squall and began to toss; The boatman sensing disaster, asked the poet,”Sir, can you swim?’
“No.”
Boatman said, “Having wasted all your life writing poetry now be prepared to meet a watery grave.”
2.Rama placed the cheque on the teller counter for cash.
“Madam lease sign the cheque.” Requested the teller.
“How do I sign the cheque? I have never done it so far.”
Teller: Do you write letters to your husband?
“Yes.”
Clerk: Then scribble that which you write at the end of your letter.
“Your ever loving Rama.”
3.There was a lot of commotion in the court and the judge raised the hammer and struck it twice on the table saying, “Order, Order!”
Some one from the back row whispered, “One cheese sandwitch and two cups of tea, please!”
4.”All air-hostesses are useless, ”tells Sanjay to Ketan.
“Why? Was there any failed romantic liaison?” asked Ketan.
“What romance you are talking at the time of plane-take off? After showing my seat, she ties the seat belt securely and asks, ”Is thee any thing I can do for you,
5.”Mummy, how was I born?” asked a ten-year old girl.
“Dear, a fairy delivered you.” replied the smart mother.
“How about you”
“I came from God’s home.”
“And Dad?”
“Grandpa brought him.”
“And our Ravi , my dear brother?”
“The doctor left him at our place.”
“Isn’t it surprising?” asked the girl and further added, “No one is born naturally in our house!”
6.A car was being driven at a high speed. A policeman stopped the driver and asked, “Show me your license, How can you drive so fast?”
The driver replied, “Do you know me? I know Mr Patel, your Police Commissioner. who attended my daughter’s wedding. I also know the Mayor who drops in at my residence every weekend.”
The cool policeman talked aloud, “Do you know Mr Raghunath Jadhav”
“No, who is he?” asked the confused driver.
“ I am Raghunath Jadhav and now tell me your name,” barked the policeman flashing out the ticket book.
7.Alunatic was creating a ruckus in the bus harassing other passengers.
On top of the voice, he began shouting and saying ”I am Rana Pratap and this my Chetak
Saying this he began running around in the crowed bus causing discomfort to other passengers.
The commotion reached such heights that the passengers began complaining to the bus conductor as peace was in danger.
The raving lunatic carried on –“I am Rana Pratap…”
Showing presence of mind the bus conductor rang the bell and shouted, “Chittor, Chittor.”
The lunatic immediately got down the bus, much to the relief of all passengers.
8.Youth: I don’t own a car or a bungalow like Ashish does. But my love for you is invaluable.
Girl: Yes! But first tell me whether. Ashish is a bachelor or not. Secondly, where does he stay?”
9. To reach the next village, how much time will it take? Asked a man to an old farmer.
The former did not reply and the man started walking ahead in search of another person who could answer his question .But walking about 2o ft, the old farmer called him out. ”Young man, you will reach the next village in 25 minutes.”
Surprised at the delayed answer by the old man , the young man asked, ”Why did you take so long to tell me?”
“I wanted to gauge you your walking speed and then arrive at the correct time.
-Prof: Venkata Ramanamurty Mallajosyula
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