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Articles: Humour | Is English is easy?
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There
is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't
invented in England or French fries in France .
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which
aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a
pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't
fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If
the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural
of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2
meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy
that you can make amends but not one amend? If you
have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but
one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If
a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English
speakers should be committed to an asylum for the
verbally insane. In what language do people recite
at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and
send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet
that smell?
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