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Kavitha Naidu's Blogs >> Cookie Buddy YOU'VE GOT VOICE MAIL

What if God decided to install voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing this

Thank you for calling The Lords House.
Please select form the following options:
Press 1 for General Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for Healing
Press 5 for Help with IT Returns
Press 6 for Rain or No Rain
Press 7 for Miracles
Press 8 for Lottery Winning Numbers
Press 9 for all Other Inquiries, or just to say Hi
Press 0 to Hear this Menu again.

What if God used the familiar excuse: Im sorry; all the Angels are helping other sinners right now. Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and will be answered in this Millennium. Or you might get any of the following responses when you wish to communicate with God:

If you would like to speak to Gabriel, press 11
For Michael, press 22
For a directory of the other Archangels, press 33.

If you would like to hear King David recite a Psalm while you are holding, please press 55. Then wait for the beep and enter the number of Psalm you wish to hear.

To find out if a loved one has been assigned to heaven, press 62. Enter her social security number, then press * key, enter her date of birth, then press the * key twice.

For answers to nagging questions about Dinosaurs, the age of the earth, where Noahs ark is, Darwin, Hitler, the Pope and UFOs please wait until you arrive here, answers can only be understood from a Heavenly perspective.

To reach Lucifer, pres 666, and your call will be automatically transferred, Please be careful, your receiver may become warm. Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up and try tomorrow.
This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again on Monday, after 9.30 am but before 4.30 ACTS(Absolute Celestial Standard Time).
To order any religious material enter catalogue number, quantity, and a credit cared number plus expiration date.

For emergencies, refer to your Bible.

Telugubaaludu Onatrivaadu	God sent the below thank you note to you, poet: "Thanks for the great idea, because it easily gives statistics of what people are praying most, it reduces my work in categorizing the requests. I am not giving you anything back for this great idea, try to find few more great ideas, I will offer you a position in heaven, as my assistant :P". Posted at: 4, Oct 2010 9:20 AM
Telugubaaludu Onatrivaadu	GOD's VOICE MAIL Statistics Released... Just an HOUR statistics after VOICE MAIL launch, is posted here :P Press 1 for General Requests - 100000000000000000000000000000000000 timess pressed ( maa boss KURCHEE screw loose ayyi padipovaalani, maa boss car tyre punture avvali ani, maa boss computerlo virus vacchi hard disk crash avvalani alaaanti korikalu... :P ) Press 2 for Thanksgiving - 1 Time Pressed (This is from me only, GOD ki thanks cheppa, aa timeki all other NUMBERS busy busy anta, naaku dorikindhi ONLY press 2 ne :P ) Press 3 for Complaints - 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 VOICE Mail received (Naaku kaakunda naa colleagueski enduku MORE SALARY vastundhi, nenu pass avvakunda naa classmatesni enduku pass chesaavu ila annee GOD meedhe complaints paapam ) Press 4 for Healing - 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Times Pressed (Ikkada COMEDY entante, asale jabbu leni vaallu kuda EDHO vundani BAYAPADI, adhi povaalani VOICE mail, leni jabbu pogottedhi ela... paapam GOD again) Press 5 for Help with IT Returns - No Specific Count (all software COOLIE's sent VOICE mail) Press 6 for Rain or No Rain - ZERO Times Pressed (Farmers daaka ee VOICE mail launch information vellaledemo anduke ZERO Messages ee optionki :P ) Press 7 for Miracles - 1000000000000 Times pressed (Only few crazy boys/girls who want miracles in the world :P, very few actually :P) Press 8 for Lottery Winning Numbers - 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 This many times PRESSED THIS OPTION ( LAZY PEOPLE EKKUVAYIPOYAARU ee worldlo FREE ga LOTTERYLO dabbulu kotteddamani inni times ee OPTION press chesaaru, GOD ki doubt vacchindhi total world population kuda intha LEDEMO, how is it possible ani, kaani okkokkaru 100/1000/10000 VOICE mail messages chesaaru lottery numbers kosam ) Press 9 for all Other Inquiries, or just to say Hi - Only 1 time this option is pressed (mallee nene HI cheppa GOD ki :P) Press 0 to Hear this Menu again - COUNT LESS TIMES PRESSED ( mana janaalaki OKKASAARI chebithe ARTHAM KAADHU kada, mallee mallee VINTE kaani asalu matter burraki ekkadhu mari :P) Posted at: 3, Oct 2010 2:01 PM
Enduser Enduser	your comments on comments, poet? Posted at: 28, Sep 2010 3:02 PM
Sri Sri	concept bavundi... I just can't imagine which service provider can give him memory that can hold so many voice messages ... Posted at: 27, Sep 2010 6:21 PM
Enduser Enduser	Where is the telephone, where is the heaven, where is the bible, kavithaaa..... baagundi..... :) Posted at: 27, Sep 2010 12:09 PM