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Neethi S's Blogs >> Blogs naa chinni priyaminaa sneham ee koddi maatalalo

This is my first blog ever so written in English But will soon translate it into telugu.
this is the reality in my life
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True friendship is a plant of slow growth ..its true in our case..I surprisingly came in contact with one of my
class mates who studied in my plus two, class 10 long years ago.when we studied together we never spoke to each other
or we never even exchanged glances.

Both of us took two different education streams after those two years, and never even paid attension, remembering that there is a kind of person in my class long ago.Both got settled in our respective professions successfully created our own small worlds. I later got married with the love of my life and migrated to a different country even.

One June summer evening I was just being online and saw this Old classmate of mine messaging me in one of the social network sites, Just by being lazy to reply by emails we chatted on that day.ITs a simple nice conversation revisinting all our past lives within the span of 10 years.

Now I came to know he is migrated to a different country tooo and persuing a adored profession ,we both now stay in different time zones, and used to communicate of our welfare.This reluctant communication unknowingly started some special afection for my freind,but strangely that is not the case with my friend,he is just being a good casual friend to me.

Slowly every thing in him i started admiring,I opened up about very tiny detail about my life,shared all the things I can as a priority,was very concerned for his every move, i just started loving him as my closest friend.
Since we started to be in contact I never saw him in person as we both stay in two different continents.

For my affection his responce was very reluctanat..with a nice nature of sweet escapes and plain natural excuses.
Never showed interest in any thing related to me,never accepted me in the way I wanted.He has his own special circle of friends where he is very strong and content.And he is confident that in an years time I will forget him and get busy with my life.

Even occassionally I thought the same ,with the course of life may be I would lessen the attension I had on him.
Though my life took major chages with a mixture of memorable moments in my family life I realised I have not yet diveated with this affection on my friend.I was very glad when my husband and my mother took this friendship very sweetly.But unfortunately my friend never really let me be close to him.Always discouraged on many things I said,many things I did for him.But still maintained a very official cordial friendship with me,with all defined conditions limits and borders which he created for both of us.Its sad though not painful ..

But I just continued in my own pace of liking him more and more each day.The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have nothing to bestow on him. Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.This is what I always searched in our friendship.

The days are passing by ... we crossed more than year still never met each other in person,but sharing the best what all we can by being there for each other.Days filled with fights ,fantacies and fun.Yet not of much change in him towards me.Always maintained his secrets never opened up with me as I normally do..When ever I ask some thing the first immidiate answer I get was NO for which I am used to.One thing to really make is clear is inspite of his reluctance he was always there for me when ever I wanted to tell him my joys sarrows what ever nonsence,he has awseome patience to listen to me,But still I was never close to his heart there is a wall in between us..there is a vaccum in our friendship.How ever I tried to fill it up he never let me do that.


Perhaps the most delightful friendships are those in which there is much agreement, much disputation, and yet more personal liking.Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes.Almost we are at the close of our second year of our friendship still haven't met.One day one conversation slightly softly sweetly opened a window for me to know his thoughts about our friendship.Unknowingly that day we continued talkin on an on an on he finally opened up with his love for me for the first time ever in our lives.

I initially thought he would change his mind for what he opened up earlier and will tell me "take it easy gal.." but no...he is indeed serious with our friendship,I soo drastically started to see change in him ,he started being expressive soo lovin more than I ever could think of,very open,as usually caring I could ever ask for.

Now our conversations are soo different there is a warmeth and evident care for each other.we dream alot on how we should meet each other for the first time, our future lives,and the way we want to continue our frienships etc...
there are days where I asked God to give me as a friend my best one.Now he is all mine.I dont have reasons how this friendship started how it survived or how we changed but it turned out to be too beautiful in my life.

Now we both look forward for only one thing to see each other in person some day soon.IT will be a dream come true for us.My cute little seed of love was planted in the garden of friendship which showed a gradual healthy growth and in due time it blosmmed with immense love and care which will still continue to grow as the days go by.

jhon jhon	hey neethi i would like to express my feelings here. As a married person u r first preferece should be ur family then only whole world comes. Ya it is heartful to have a such a close friend. But to my knowledge a close friend is one, who can sacrifice his/her frndship and is ready to take the pain of parting away incase that friendship is going to effect the future of his/her friend&familiy. I think ur friend's newborn love for u knowing that ur marrried is not genuine. Please be aware of these type of frinedships and dont spoil urs and ur family's future. Posted at: 30, Nov 2010 2:27 AM
Dileep Madha	hello neeethi....i'm really glad to see your very nice expressions....with lot of friendly affection...... and seems nice to read it... but some time..u told that some gap...but really.... am not fully convinced.... but you may be rite some times...some time ur look like professional... but a dearest friend should be a personal....... to whome we can share the things without hesitation.... and the way u explains.... it feels me to imagin you that how u could feel...nice.... and we should say thanks to this kind of sites..... Dileep Posted at: 26, Nov 2010 7:58 AM
Neethi S	Akaksha this is the present I have written in the blog :-) Havent said it would be continued the same way.. we both have our own seperate lives which are very precious for us ..so I'm sure I know we as people as individuals do change with coarse of our lives .. situations around us change our thinkin wil change so do the friendships.So I'm not concluding that it will be the same till the end .We both are practical and realistic,so let the time decide how it can end up. But why always people only think the wrong side ...for the blogI have written give it a go by thinking it all green an ever healthy.I wanted my friendship in that way, not like which is gonna end up as an unsocial relationship. But glad to see your comments thanks have a good day. :-) Posted at: 26, Nov 2010 6:10 AM
Neethi S	Hi Surya thanks for a very constructive responce to my blog. I accept every point of wht all you mentioned but....one thing wanted to explain was. I do write an explain things very expressively might be that have lead to an impression that I have fallen in love for my friend.But that is not that's happening with us currently "By being there for each other as friends with no limits ...." Why this was understood only in the negative direction. There can be a positive side of it tooo. All relationships included with love are not necessarily be negative. Coming to meeting him ... Just to see him once in person ..is ofcourse fine for us. I'm sure when we see for first time It would surely be the best experience for us. My understanding is for all that I have expressed people just took it in the other side the negative side alone.Just try thinking in the positive healthy side of it. It would be surly a blessing .. a cherished friendship. But thanks Surya for your nice inputs. Posted at: 26, Nov 2010 6:01 AM
surya l	Hi Neethi, Hope you are doing well. True friendship is a plant of slow growth.You are correct.But I am sorry to say that its not at all true friendship in your case. After reaches the friendship to certain level it should not be deteriorate. Even if you are very free with him, He tried to hide some secrets & his thoughts.This is because of many reasons.i.e He may nt be frank(No Daring), feeling shy ,might be playing some tricks to make more affection towards him etc. It is mentioned that there is a wall between you.It should be.For every relation there are some limits.We should never cross them.Then only any relation lasts long, sweet & seems to be good for others . Thinking of Meeting each other is not a mistake.But in your case friendship became affection then it turned into love.So think yourself with cool mind whether it is better to continue further or not.Your husband and mother respond positively when you told about your friend.So keep this in your mind to move step forward.Otherwise it leads many problems for all. Our thoughts converted into actions either those may be good or bad.So always we should superwise our thoughts to make them in proper way.Then everything will be fine. You are married and can think very well.It need not be explain all these things.What i told already known to you.Just I remind you.All the best Posted at: 26, Nov 2010 4:36 AM
ram shankar	VINAASAAKAALE VIPAREETA BUDDHI :) Posted at: 26, Nov 2010 0:49 AM