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shobha cherukupalli's Blogs >> My dads death and before and after effects my dads death and after effects

some say you did good job .you didnt make him feel the loss of a son!!!!but my mom and me still on grounds may be you could have done better or may be you.now its dads LIFE.
It all started with suddenly the pm next to me started torturing and i yelled at him.i canged my place he got release thank god i was not tranfereed i changed the place frmom pm cubicles to center of the location.
the rating that year fell thou I was expecting a promotion now thats the way coflicts handled..the environment disturbances in phone calls its like fish market....worried business would get spoiled and young people around disturbing .to pick up i was spending more time at office....
on one fine evening i observed my dads belly grew a little in size...may be not maintaining diet I thought....slowly his staggering walk i took notice....he was going alone to doctor...sugar.....i doubted how he was treatig and went along and told about the gait he suggests you might fall down even take a stick..but doubting something wrong......
he was getting emotional during mornings .he stopped coming outside.i take mom and sis outside.to chilukuru gandipet and my sis to shopping malls and restaurant.we ladies relatives formed a gang and went to raghavendra mutt and meantime his results came...something wrong in tests...i took leave for a week as i got stiches on legs.his health was drastically deteriorating ..i could see staggerig walk mom telling something to doc who is a neighbour.time to act.we took him to family doctor who suggested asian institute....as thet just tested he is unable to wait we took him to family doc where headmitted..docs from appollo were observig..his brain also was effected auto scan...ours was day shift...my sis and me go home at night...sis wth tears askig me wil dad come back home....we still didnt thin its serious......doc declared liver problem ased to shift hospital...my uncle came asks me to change hospital but not a good advise but panicked us......i got panicked called uncle who recently visited.
now i didnt expect one after the other relatives started vsiting...one day i took it serious and booked room in asian institude...my cousin just spoke to docs went to attend meeting..next day another cousin came and paniced saying a danger....nw docs said take him no that it is going to happen but in later stages it may...
now series of hospitalisation,one after the another...the condition they stated is coming slowly..now i asked for work from home ,dad in ICU nothing to do and work with laptop sitting and getting worried.talking to doc..First time we didnt even have communication....somehow work was going on....he gets discharged with some improvemet and some tests unconducted next time that part of the body attacked..They were removing water..itgets accumulated periodicall.same condition as that child was in which was recently shown in TV.reason can be any.His organ got effected.
come back to office cry during coffee break in canteen or to my neighbour .always discuss about him.sometimes skip out from desk and sit on the stairs and cry and cry and cry.or sometime burst out in loo.come back home early take him for a walk,ride and nurse,get up late nights and see temperature,put cloth,do.
This continued for morethan a year..work from home some policies came from clients.They didnt give a laptop.so I took leave this time.Boss calls and I shouted at him.Bad man...released me I am on bench....
Donno why he didnt coplain his respiration I observed once but he had been behaving like that.Last time march 8 womans day saree hungama at offuce next day marriage day got cake....his mind getting disoriented during cake cut...my sis luckily went to giv ecake car punctured ready may be fr tom.Even money for next hospiitalisation after every hospitalisation first the balance on debit card,after comig bac from hospitalisation release the ixed deposit and next hospitalsation sell shares and be ready.No money coming from insurance from office.He got fits after his marriage day cake cutting same night next day telangana agitation somehow we reached hospital in time and the doc too..docs came out crying sayind he is giving up..he was brought out several time we all pledge and gave him spirit..mentally...he survived.
Next time he was improvinga nd the release has hapened.This time he was in ICU for a longer time...I was at hospital this time without work.oc aske dme to go to office......because there is nothing to do..so many reative I had seen to it that treatment is being given and they dont pul out anything and do mercy killing whih was made recntly legal.so during decisions I was there.
Just two days before his death I said like usually to say good morning..he was not much responsig..a tear from eyes.....I went to office wanted to draw money from PF.doc asked to fight which did,but the HR agreed to mak eit a special case .I went to bank for personal loan and was just working on approval I was called in hospital.
doc said its not improving but we didnt undrestand still a Hope,My uncle came and said he is reactig adversely...I went doc said may be thi snight be prepared.we wer waiting got a call doc said he is not reating to medicines finally declared he is no More.
I was taking care of mom..and then the rituals...I fought against some .cant see mom like that....I fought with entire khandan a rebellion kurukshetra like karna in kurukshetra and gave alms at several places and donated eys too and was waiting to donate liver.
I was stilll on bench and I tried reference some vested insterests I had to fight with a person in big position ex couleague to court.I gave a notice and expected reactions,during this time I didnt want any notice to come and effect mom..and she went to assidt my aunt who was severaelty ill..6 months all alone .They didnt give any HIS to dad but on 13th day I was sent to cheerala and mysre...to wrk.in that state of mind forced to read.It was like punishment.I said personal reasons and came back.My mom with granny.granny doesnt like me it was like she too disowned me.some friends I call daily who gave support but still the grievance someone suggeted to escalate....I got a projet in another three months,so much happened and they forgot my grievances because I raised a grievances they tried to pu it on me.I got very agitated and gave resignation.I would have thrwobn resignation on HR face just on eday after my dads death.Next tim eone month salary was getting cut..someone erased time sheet,during hospitalisation someone was after me I gave a warning HR was after me for 3 years torturing me.so many complaint son her too..nothing worked out...Now after I got released from last project she again started playing same game trying to hook m ereverse.I got irritated and gave resignation.How many peoples references I tried.Hoping that my latest boss who was a friend in 2001 would help I even joined Best institue for MBA.Now waiting for PF they are giving or not.....Taking suggestions from every one including some faculties ex couleague.Times are bad...But why consequences turned so Bad........Only God Knows.Now job Hunt...from Independet life towards Need for job.Have to save the assets and pay the fee...will be left out with some money may be I will get job by the mean time it get evaporated.....stressed at home...Now No dad to advise....Mom to bear....Honge kaam yaab....