|
|
|
|
Articles: My Thoughts | | Parents of NRIs | |
|
| The situation of residents of a complex is different in USA. There is every possibility for all the inhabitants to meet as and when they like and chat. It is natural they the birds of same feather flock together. Parents may meet and go for walking wihtin the colony area and any member of the complex can give lift for other inhabitant parents for a ride. During 1986-90 we were in such a colony and never felt loneliness. But our case is quite different in 2002-03 stay. we are in an independant two storied building far off to the city and no library, shopping mall or any other recreation atleast two to three kilometers within the reach. Just imagine that life. Both my son and daughter in law are busy with their work and theycannot be blamed in view of their busy schedules. In Canada, ofcourse our locality has many Indians and especially telugu people within half a kilo metre and lonely walking is not dangerous there as it is in USA. Our period of stay was limited to six months only. So we had to return to USA and after staying for four months, we came back to India.
Posted by: Mr. VIRABHADRA SASTRI KALANADHABHATTA At: 2, Oct 2004 6:25:20 PM IST
I have gone through the comments posted by Mr. VIRABHADRA SASTRI KALANADHABHATTA.
This was exactly the reason I came up with the idea of sharing the experiences of NRI parents.
What Mr Sastry said is true of many parents.
Atleast in the apartment complex, we live in Edison, NJ, we have changed a lot of this.
We have same parents come back every two years.
This is because they are not getting bored any more.
Since they have a group of 20 other parents, they are able to spend their time more actively.
It is easy for them to go out, since there are a number of children they can depend upon, not just their kids.
The kids have to take care of their parents less often, because other kids take them along with their parents.
Some times, the parents are able to go out by themselves, since they are in a group.
I participate in Social service activities in USA, like we do in India, and my wife spends her time in activities like (Mrs Sastry) by worshipping God and taking part in temple activities and so on.
We have about 150 Telugu families in our apartment complex (out of 1000 apartments), and the life here is similar to that in Hyderabad, or Vijayawada.
In the begining, I used to hear kids telling their parents 'Don't do things like in India. Don't talk to strangers. You can only call some one by phone, and not knock on the door'
I told most of the parents 'We don't have to be too careful. We are all educated. We have spent all these years by following certain social norms in India. We can do the same here. Particularly when you are dealing with fellow Indians, you don't have to act like an American'
Our group is happily spending their time here, and most of the kids told me that they appreciate the interaction between the parents.
Most of the time the parents were able to introduce their children to other neighbors, because the children did not know most of their neighbors.
Sai Bhajan happens every Thursday at some one's house, and lot of people perform Sravana Sukravaram.
The 'Perantallu' go around 10 different houses on Sravana Sukravaram to bless the children performing Puja.
Once we are able to make our friends here, I don't see much difference between living in USA, or India.
Posted by: Mr. Ram Lavu At: 2, Oct 2004 2:58:45 AM IST
As the father of two NRIs one in USA and other in Canada, kindly permit to express my feelings. We do feel happy that our boys are in abroad earning a lot and enjoying. But at this age ( I am 77 and my sife is 73) we crave more to enjoy our last days in the company of the grands and great grands. This is the case when we are in India. When we are in their company at abroad, the style of life in USA changes their attitude towards us and thereby they very rarely call upon us that too for a very little time. I do not blame them as they are engaged with their studies. We cannot go out independantly especially in USA without the help of my son or daughter in law subject to availability of their time to spare for us and care for us. SO LITERALLY SPEAKING WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN A GOLDEN CAGE.
I do not feel even interacting with the similar parents of other NRIs will console much as what is there to talk every day except gossip which creates boredom after some time. In the begining this may continue for half an hour or so perday, gradually reduce to ten minutes twice a week and later on only at the meetings and parties often. Truth is we found more happy to be in India independantly ofcourse reminding the days we spent abroad with children and grands and great grands. You know myself and my wife are in a two storeyed building in Vijayawada but pulling on days thanks to the good tenants we have in the house. I do not know how far my statement justifies to your suggestion, but this is the feeling. You know when my mother in law a blind 92 years old lady died two years back, my brother in law who is in USA along with my son and daughter in law on green card did not come to India and I had to do her last rituals. So the affection has faded away before their life in USA.
Ofcourse they came to India twice a year after wards to perform their sons' marriage etc., Never think that parents of NRIs in India are really happy but compromise for the future of their kids.
Truly speaking, in one way, I am really feeling very happy spending much of my time to go through and post articles in tp.com and to involve myself in social actvities. My wife has got her neighbours of same school of thought like worshipping god and taking part in temple activities like so on. Ofcourse my children are comming to our aid by sending dollars very often so that we do not have financial worry as it is supplementing my pension of Rs.6000 per month. But will money only gives happiness in the life? Nay. Hope we can pull on days like this. We are afraid to go abroad again and again involving hugeexpences for Air fares for my children. After 1990, we went only in December 2002 both to USA and Canada and returned in Jan.04.
God is great to lead us to our destiny. Thank you if you have patiently gone through this lengthy narration of our experience and thoughts.
Posted by: Mr. VIRABHADRA SASTRI KALANADHABHATTA At: 2, Oct 2004 0:48:25 AM IST
| |
|
|
 |
| Advertisements |
|
|
|
|
| Advertisements |
|
