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Plz go through my comment !

Posted by: Mr. M Kumar N At: 23, Feb 2005 9:47:55 PM IST

Hi Mr.MNK went thru ur article.. well, i wan to comment..hope u don' feel offended.. here is my sincere feedback on the topic.. ___________________________________________________ A complaint about our kids should be never report to third party in front of our kids. YEAH U R ABSOLUTELY TRUE REGARDING THIS... otherwise, they will think that my parents always complaints about me in front of relatives, friends and others and they might get used to it and get more stubborn. NO THEY FEEL LOW AND NOT NECESSARY THEY BECOME STUBBORN, THEY FEEL LOW EVEN THOUGH THEY R CAPABLE OF PROVING THEIR TALENTS...THEIR BORN TALENTS ARE LOST AND THEY'LL NEVER SHARE THEIR OPINIONS WITH THEIR PARENTS IN AFRAID THT THEIR PARENTS DON' HAVE A EYE TO APPRECIATE THEIR VIEW..THIS LEADS TO A WEAK PERSONALITY AND IT HINDERS THE DEVELOPMENT OF CHILD IN OVERALL PERSPECTIVE.. A complaint can be raise to third party when kids are not in presence. YEAH THIS IS ALSO TRUE AND IS REALLY APRRECIATIVE BUT ONLY TO SEEK A SOLUTION AND NOT AS PUBLICITY B'COZ WHEN CHILDREN GET TO KNOW THIS, THEY FEEL THT THE ISSUE OF THEIR MISCHEIF OR MISBEHAVIOUR IS ONE OF THE PRIME OBJECTIVES OF MY PARENTS' ROUND TABLE CONFERENCE WITH THEIR SO CALLED FRIENDS'..THIS ALSO MAY LEAD TO DISRESPECT PARENTS' DEAR ONES.. The third party should advise the kids in the absence of the parents. YEAH I EXPLAINED THE SAME IN ABOVE... This is the thumb rule I feel. IT IS NOT ACTUALLY A THUMB RULE BUT IT IS GOOD IF IT IS DONE SO..AS LONG AS CHILDREN DON' NOTICE IT.. Also an appraisal of our kid always will be good if it comes from the third party rather than parents. BUT CHILDREN EXPECT THEIR FIRST APPRAISAL FROM THEIR PARENTS' RATHER THAN 3rd PARTIES. B'COZ CONFIDENCE OF PARENTS' IN CHILD MAKE THEM SELF-CONFIDENT..B'COZ PARENTS R THE MORAL PILLARS FOR CHILDREN..AND THEIR ATTITUDE BUILDS BY LEARNING FROM PARENTS'. SO PARENTS SHUD B MORE ATTENTIVE DURING THE MENTAL FORMATION DAYS OF CHILD..ALSO THERE IS A CHANCE THT THE CHILD MAY FEEL THT OTHERS' R FIRST TO KNOW THEIR TALENTS RATHER THAN THEIR PARENTS.. Parents can appraise the kids but not always..YEAH THT IS ALSO TRUE..B'COZ THE VALUE OF PRAISE WILL B LOST..IN FACT PARENTS SHUD B CRITICISERS WHEN NECESSARY...THIS'LL MAKE CHILDREN TO ACCEPT CRITICISM WITH AN OPEN MIND AND THEY CAN FACE CHALLANEGES WHEN NEEDED.. I feel there will be strong encouragement if the appraisal comes from third party than the parents.I EXPLAINED ABT THIS POINT ABOVE.. Kids feel more happy and inspiration when an appraisal comes from third party and then parents should then appraise the kid by adding to the third party words. I FEEL IT SHUD B VICE CERSA SOMETIMES.. Also I feel the best gift to our child on his/her birthday will be what all they have done for that last year from bday to bday. What good things and bad things they have done during that one year period. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY THE BEST GIFT...BUT APART FROM THIS A PARENT NEEDS TO GIVE GIFTS IN KIND..THIS IS ONLY TO MAKE THE CHILD FEEL HAPPY THT (S)HE GOT WHAT (S)HE WAS AWAITING FOR..THOU THIS IS AGAIN FOR THE FORMATIVE YRS OF THE CHILD...I MEAN A NORMAL MENTAL GROWTH... WHEN THE CHILD IS OF ENUF AGE WHERE THEY CAN JUDGE UR WORDS, U NEED TO SHIFT ENTIRELY ON THE WAY U DESCRIBED THE B'DAY GIFT..THEN ASK THE CHILD TO ACCOMPLISH THE WORKS THT THEY TOOK OVER THIS YR TILL THE NEXT B'DAY SO AS TO MAKE THE FORTHCOMIN B'DAY MORE FRUITFUL AND SWEET.. We can write how best they can improve or rectify those error by next bday. YEAH ABSOLUTELY. This is the gift I’m giving to my kid at present and will continue this all my life. GOOD DECISION BUT WITH SLIGHT CORRECTIONS.. Indoor games (video , computer games) are not letting our kids to remove their sweat from their body. THIS IS ONE OF THE AREAS THT PARENTS' NEED TO TAKE CARE OF...U HAVE A GOOD OPINION REGARDING THIS.. We should allow them or send them to play outside and let them sweat atleast once or twice a week. Y CAN'T U PLAY WITH UR CHILD? IF NOT INDOOR EVERYDAY ATLEAST AN HR OUTDOOR..IS THERE ANY NEED FOR ME TO EXPLAIN Y?? FOR A BETTER BOND AND UNDERSTANDIN BETWEEN PARENTS AND CHILDREN.. Regarding grown up kids: ABSOLUTELY NO NEED TO KEEP A CHECK ON UR CHILD...I MEAN IT..B'COZ THE GROWN UP YRS OF UR CHILD R DEPENDENT ON THE WAY U GAVE THEM UR LOVE AND AFFECTION..IF U WAN TO KEEP A CHECK ON THEM THEN IT IS THE LOW CONFIDENCE THT U HAVE ON UR BROUGHT UP..IN STEAD SHARE UR FEELINS ON HIGHER STUDIES AND UR ASPIRATIONS IN UR CHILDREN. BUT MAKE A NOTE THT U SHUDN'T PESTER IN THIS...TALK TO THEM REGARDING THEIR FRIENDS AND Y DID UR CHILD CHOOSE THE GUY AS HIS FRIEND?? U CAN GET TO KNOW WHAT UR CHILD REALLY WANTS FROM A FRIEND AND AS A PARENT U MIGHT B ALREADY THE BEST FRIEND OF CHILD..WHO KNOWS?? A parents eye should be more powerful than an eagle eye I feel. NO ...IT SHUD B MORE LOVABLE AND CONFIDENT ON THEIR CHILD.. R we monitoring our kids what we suppose to do..?? I DIDN'T GET THIS QUESTION.. I have seen many parents neglecting their kids and seen so many disasters like kids falling in water sump, buckets, well, boiling milk, eating dangerous medicines. THIS IS WHAT PARENTS' SHUDN'T DO...PILALANU KANATAM KAADHU PENCHADAM THELIYAALI.. In fact we should not give a chance for it than to monitor it. U SHUDN'T KILL THE INDEPENDENCE OF CHILD WHILE TAKIN OVER CARE...KEEP A CHECK WHERE THE CHILD IS MOVING...B'COZ EXPERIMENTIN IS FROM WHICH CHILD LEARNS MORE.. FOR EG: IF U SAY THE CHILD 'DON GO NEAR THE FIRE, IT IS HARMFUL AND HOT'.THE CHILD WILL NOT KNOW WHT IS HOT UNTIL HE FEELS IT..LET HIM KNOW THE MEANIN OF LIFE.. I told my wife several times to switch off the stove whenever there is a phone call or calling bell ring, as this turns to be several minutes conversation and chance of disaster. DON'T THINK TOO MUCH, SIR...CARE IS OK..BUT TOO MUCH CARE IS TOO BAD... Do u have any suggestions pls.!! I THINK I MADE A FLOW OF SUGGESTIONS.. BUT SINCE U R INSISTING... well, to bring a child in the way u wan to ...then feel 'what did u want from ur parents when u were a child? in what way u wanted their care? in what way u wanted to share ur feelings with them?' and experiment...to make ur wife feel happy, think of a surprise with the help of ur child...by this, the child not only knows the value of relations in life but also it makes child think how to make people surrounding them happy by some simple n lovable things tht they wan to... i think these r enuf...u can bug me anytime to get more info out of me... best wishes, Voice.

Posted by: Voice At: 22, Feb 2005 10:32:23 PM IST

A third party can be a family member / relative / frien / neighbour. This happens when children are scared about their parents. Nothing to worry about third party's. Third party's always gives a different publicity even though if there was no complaint also.

Posted by: Mr. M Kumar N At: 22, Feb 2005 8:46:57 PM IST

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