Comment and Discuss on TeluguPeople.com Articles

Page: 1 of 6 Next > >

Its not my wish to change your openion in one day or to orgue. I am just trying to open a thought is there any other way to think? Though it is a little bit bitter to you but please read all and then………. Mr. Vikram, First of all I guess you are not clear about parents love. Yes, most of girl’s parents look for a boy who is financially sound (in your words status) sothat their daughter "will" live happily. If that "will" fails, they are the first people who will stand in queue to lend their hand. Do you think they won't help you when you are struggling? May be yes??? because you don’t have trust in your future. So, you know that you will fail in future along with your life partner to survive and you don't trust even parents(oh ya, you trust your parents, and don't consider in-laws also parents to someone). For secure deposit, you want to settle before your marriage otherwise no. Well now think about yourself how confident you are about your future? And most of all by expecting dowry form others( parents) whom you don't know, you are helping the girl who is welcoming you into her life with full trust to question that. Did you ever compare your parents with them, who started saving money for your dowry before you born and just giving that on your marriage (“opps before marriage."). I guess you won’t mind if the girl asks you just grab the money that my parents trusted , from your dear parents before marriage, as I don’t trust their love towards you. Do you see any thing like this? There is nothing like boys parents should give all the money they have to boy only. They can just donate that to others. Every body knows that so as girl and her parents, though they trust you and your parents. But You ? I am sure no one can give their daughter just because he has somuch money or Green card or citigenship unless they really have a very bad troubles. Their first concern is about person’s personality. Here I wanted to give you an example to reinforce my comment. I am from a middle class family where money plays vital role, when it comes to my marriage, I got a match from US with citigenship and having a 500 condos as his share( you are more concern about money so imagine how much rent he will get every month) and handsome. But my parents didn’t even give a thought about it. Why? Because he didn’t finish his batchlors degree. Their analogy is that a stable and aimful person only can go for higher education. Though it might be wrong in different cases, It is true in my case. Now I am married to a nice person with M.S. degree having GPA(4.0/4.0) ,but still struggling financially. I am very happy with my life infact I couldn’t imagine my life with out him as my husband. Now my parents also very happy and they always concern about our love. They think as long as there is love and caring between wife and husband , Nothing can hurt. Just give it a positive thought. I am glad that you found your dream girl who is not at all strange to you from the day you entered to this world. Don't you think your girl was strange to you once? You seem to be not that bad as you expressed. Because one girl can win you by heart before marriage, there will be one more to win you. The thing is you are scary to give her a chance after marriage. But believe me marriage is such a wonderful bond which teaches you how to think from other’s piont of view which finally lead to a good understanding. As you find your beloved one before marriage, You are thinking you built the trust about your marriage life with your practical mind (may be so-called “ mundhuchupu”). Keep it in mind that you will never know that how people can change tomorrow (may be you or your girl). Please don’t think its my wish or ………… I am telling you before you experience just because you are so practical person. And finally, I guess you really seen a bad experience about marriage especially from girls side. That’s true, there is no sying that all girls are good after marriage and boys are bad. After all we are human beings. We may good to one and bad to other. Its all depends on the person’ s vision. Just change your vision for a while about this dowry system with your very good logical skills and you will find opposite logic. I hope if not now one day you will ...... With all best wishes, -Prasna.

Posted by: Ms. Prasna Prasna At: 16, Nov 2002 2:18:53 AM IST

hi all, i haven't browsed this site for a long time. Adwait, I was so glad to see your sensible comments. Of course everybody has a right for Opinion and expression but it is saddening to see People like Vikram who in these Modern Times support age-old menaces like DOWRY. I can only envision MEN LUSTING for DOWRY as BEGGARS hungrying on FREE FOOD which only shows their zero self esteem/respect. No OFFENCE anybody but this is how i feel. DOWRY is JUSTIFIED as long as girls parents happily give wealth on DAUGHTER"s NAME and the wealth which they can AFFORD. BUT in todays world IN 98% CASES the DOWRY parents give is NEITHER what they can afford nor GOES TO DAUGHTER's ACCOUNT. Why Parents Give dowry when they can't AFFORD? BECAUSE THEY ARE THE "FOOLS" who wish to see their daughters happy NOt bothring how burdened they would become for the rest of theit Lives. AnyWAy , I AM VERY HAPPY TO SEE ADWAIT'S wonderful Reasoning and Debating. Keep it up! cheers jo.

Posted by: Mrs. jo Jyothy At: 29, Sep 2002 3:34:27 AM IST

Vishal, u know it's always fun chatting with ur sis. Cheers, Adwait

Posted by: Mr. Adwait Aditam At: 14, Sep 2002 1:19:20 PM IST

Adwait seems ur chatting too much in ym !! j/k :)

Posted by: Mr. vishal vishal At: 13, Sep 2002 2:08:04 PM IST

Mr. Vikram, )))))What if U dont fall in love after ur marriage when U dont take dowry? Ever heard of Divorce? Don't mix marriage and money. Does it make better for you not to love her but still get her money? Are you suggesting that it’s ok to marry someone or anyone as long as you get money, love or no love? What about the lady you are married to? She has paid a ransom to get married to a person whom she doesn't love, and is not loved and moreover she works (may even earn), cooks, cleans, bears children and serves him nevertheless. What about HER? )))))Answer one more question of mine. What is meant by Alimony and who benefits from it? The shortest answer is no one benefits from divorce or alimony, derivative of such decision. It could be a situation where one of the partners is suicidal, homicidal, manic, alcoholic or plain out cheating and/or may want to divorce for younger flesh or more money. If the mother is declared as guardian of children, Alimony is to ensure rogues don't get away from their responsibilities of parenting. If the custody is awarded to father, he doesn't have to pay for the child’s maintenance, but to support the wife (only if she is unemployed or till the time she is not married again) for he has robbed her chastity, youth, and time. It is a fair practice. )))))a bad experience and then he has to pay for his experience.Isn't that amazing? What suffering are you talking? Doesn't girl suffer too in that situation? Why can't you ever make an effort to think from other side? ))))) I made a mistake by so called "ranting" or whatever at Ms Swapna. I should have done it to you instead. Bring it on buddy, take your best SHOT!!!. I dare you to advertise in local newspapers if and when you take dowry (I shall pick up the tab) and rest assured, I shall ensue a PIL (Public Interest Litigation) against you and your family for taking dowry. )) "What is it we gotta look for in our wife, when they look for hell a lot of things?". Exactly! Look for everything you want in your wife and not in her father's wallet. If you want an earning partner, marry a woman willing to work. Build property on your own and don't look for throwaways and look like a beggar. )) Dont try to be a God. Or u will end up being a fool. First come out of Neanderthal stage, than make a reference to GOD. I can't label you a FOOL. Scoundrel sounds more appropriate. )) I dont believe in future. I just take care of my present. The way you want to deal with your present, I too don't believe in your future. )) If dont find them in a gal, I wont marry her. What the hell is ur problem? I am not putting anybody in trouble. I'll take dowry only from those guys who are ready My problem is your attitude. Don’t kid yourself that you are not putting anyone in trouble. Dowry is not just a trouble it's a social menace and has outlived its purpose. You may find someone obliging to pay a ransom. It leads to a ripple effect and everyone starts demanding it and even people who can't afford will end up coughing sums beyond their abilities. If the father-in-law is giving willingly, he shall share his good fortune with his daughter, why make transaction mandatory during the marriage? Cheers, Adwait

Posted by: Mr. Adwait Aditam At: 12, Sep 2002 11:13:15 PM IST

I forgot to tell U one more thing...preferences differ from person to person. I can look for whatever I want in my would be. If dont find them in a gal, I wont marry her.What the hell is ur problem? I am not putting anybody in trouble. I'll take dowry only from those guys who are ready to spend for their daughter. I'm not extorting anything.

Posted by: Mr. Vikram Ekollu At: 12, Sep 2002 11:35:12 AM IST

Mr Adwait, I dont want to be as rude as u are? I have an answer for ur question.But that is a question too. What if U dont fall in love after ur marriage when U dont take dowry? It is still prostitution to you or a lot many more who assume the roles of saviors of everybody without any pragmatic sense. "Or U JUST DONT MARRY(Unless it is a love marriage)". U may end up being a prostitute. Answer one more question of mine. What is meant by Alimony and who benefits from it? Why should there be such benefits? Why should the other guy suffer for the sake of somebody he doesn't love. Did any "GOOD BOY" like you give a thought to it? First of all he had a bad experience and then he has to pay for his experience.Isn't that amazing? I made a mistake by so called "ranting" or whatever at Ms Swapna. I should have done it to you instead. And it is crystal clear how senseless and biased ur comments are. In the first place my question was "What is it we gotta look for in our wife, when they look for hell a lot of things?". If marriage was as selfless and binding as you project it to be why should women have so many preferences and specifications for the guy they are going to marry? When they have so many why shouldn't we have some? Why should i marry a stranger without any scrutiny? Or why should she? Dont try to be a God.Or u will end up being a fool. I dont believe in future. I just take care of my present. I cant just marry a stranger hoping for something to happen in the future. When I take such a risk there should be a good reason for me to take it.

Posted by: Mr. Vikram Ekollu At: 12, Sep 2002 11:30:42 AM IST

Vikram, You have chosen not to answer me but to rant and rage on Ms. Swapna for a reply to my posting. Pray enlighten me before you rant on Swapna, What kind of rationality are you exhibiting in your discussions? Your marriage condition is to either pay dowry or win your heart. So if one doesn't fall in love with the bride, he is entitled to dowry and what happens, if and when he falls in love after marriage? Do you provide a return clause in this situation? If you are not going to fall in love with your spouse for rest of life, then that marriage is far worse than prostitution. Also, why not take dowry even when you have fallen love, as all the conditions still remain the same, your parents spending tons of money and blah, blah. What kind of perverted and sick logic are you spewing on us? Whatever your qualifications, charms, inheritance is, don't dare to kid yourself that you are the savior of hapless fathers of brides. For all this is fleeting and meaningless, unless you have a compassionate and rational heart to see and recognize others as humans with similar aspirations, desires and feelings. What kind of moral right are you embracing for your demagoguery conclusions? Do you dare to think your father has "favored" your mother for feeding, clothing and providing shelter for her daily? Do you know how damaging it is to a women's body to go through a pregnancy and thereafter. Is this the gratitude you have for your mother and her own gender? Your wife is going to be your life partner, to give all that she has and build a common dream with you, and not for preying on your staple. She makes your home, bears children for you and looks after you like your mother in all aspects. Have some respect for your wife (and her family too); else wedding bells are not for your ilk. Treat everyone with respect and cordiality that you believe you deserve. How we respond to dowry threat to our society, will determine the contours of the world we live in. Merely going to men's restroom doesn't make you a man. It takes more than that. A true man is an independent entity and should in the least be able to feed and protect his dependents on his *OWN*, with his mental acumen or physical strength. It doesn't matter whether you live rich or poor, as long as you are not dependent on others or enjoying others fruits of labor (ex: father-in-laws). Should you feel that you couldn’t confirm to the above doctrine, please don't label yourself as a man, as it taints other real men. I guess you have made yourself unwelcome among women, with your eerie remarks. So only gender left for you to associate is too uncouth to be mentioned here. Cheers, Adwait

Posted by: Mr. Adwait Aditam At: 12, Sep 2002 0:31:08 AM IST

Look Ms Swapna, Every thing looks great on paper or to just blabber. Try to think a bit practically and sensibly.U'll understand my point. Free ur mind from any pre prepared opinions before you enter a discussion.

Posted by: Mr. Vikram Ekollu At: 9, Sep 2002 12:20:02 PM IST

Hi, Hi, I had the misfortune of reading in depth the replies given by some people masquerading as intellectuals, including the author of this subject, Mr. Vikram Ekollu. The language used during the debate is utterly distasteful. I am at a loss to comrehend the balance sheet argument of Vikram. Yes, most of the parents do spend money to educate their kids, so where is the question of repatriation ? Even if you want some money to be paid back, can't you see the investment is dismally minimal to the returns expected? I know of no financial institutions paying those kind of returns, which Vikram is demanding. Unless he spent 10 -20 lakhs for his education, which would mean he had to attend private schools, had a tutor all the time and paid hefty donations for garnering a seat for undergrad, post-grad and must have wetted few hands in the process of reaching US. If the above assumptions were true, it doesn't depict him in a birght light. On the contrary, if he had attained his educational qualifications in a meritorious way, the bargain is too skewed to begin with. I am tending to believe that Vikram is very insecure about himself, his earning potential in future and would like to safeguard it in terms of obtaining dowry and piggy ride on an hapless bride's father. Regarding the benefits enjoyed by his so-called spouse in a ready made fashion, I have some pointers for Vikram. We all know that the brides who come here (even as dependent) are well educated and have proper qualifications to do job. If they earn huge sums, it is VIKRAM & HIS IMMEDIATE FAMILY who enjoys the money and not the girl or her family. Even if you consider an average salary of $60,000/yr it outruns the dowry obtained by Vikram in an year. Moreover, Vikram got a person who cooks, cleans, sleeps at his whims, and bears children for him, rears them and also keeps earning for rest of her employable life ALL FOR FREE. If any of the above or each of the above were to be contracted or outsourced Vikram would be bankrupted soon. So what kind of crap are we being thrown by Vikram. At this point you can replace Vikram with any other name, who is toeing his moronic conclusions as legitimate arguments. I dare vikram to release a public statement in newspaper if and when takes dowry, if he is worth a man of his name and claim. Matrimony is an rational agreement between two people, whether by personal choice or by parental choice. It is often a new relation between tow different, disparate families and definitely each other benefits from a symbiotic relation thus established. No one would argue with process of gift exchanging and I have witnessed many a instances where large sums of dowry (aka gifts etc) transacted between two parties. But this is the place, where it is depicted and reasoned out in the ugliest form. The language you have used to rationalize your arguments (against Swapna and others) only shows your character or lack of it. Vikram your publications are shameful to say the least and you need to get a life man. Sincerely, GROW UP !

Posted by: Mr. Adwait Aditam At: 4, Sep 2002 6:25:31 AM IST

Page: 1 of 6 Next > >