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Articles: My Thoughts | | Is it a Sin to take Dowry in all Cases? | |
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| ok ok...I did not read other discussions just saw the topic and thought...well I got some positive feelings in my own way. This dowry system as far as I know..if the given dowry is usefull for the woman which is given by her parents,its well and good on 1 side...on the other side if the dowry is forced to be given by her parents it's not a good thing.
Well my other view is, guys are raised with a moto to work, while girls are prepared to stay at home and take care of kids and if the given dowry is able to give her some sort of financial satisfaction..she will be happy and she will keep her family happy...
I clearly cant justify dowry been taken for useing it for groom's family.Every family should have their own financial dealings staying away from the bride's money
which is called dowry
Posted by: Mrs. jaya k At: 16, Jul 2002 11:20:17 AM IST
sorry about posting twice!!!
Posted by: Miss Madhavi Madhavi At: 16, Jul 2002 2:31:39 AM IST
I don't know if the dowry is a sin or not, but I definitely consider it to be more like a business deal where the groom's family has the upper hand and bride's family is ever burdened with trying to satisfy the groom's family.
It is fine for the girl's parents to give anything they want to the girl while she is leaving to her in-laws house. But in reality what is happening is that the groom's family have a definite say in what the girl should get.
Incredible amount of money being given as cash to the groom's family, in my opinion, is ridiculous.
If they gave dowry in olden days say about 50yrs ago, I kind of understand because at that time the husband took care of the wife. But nowadays, most of the wives too earns as they have their own education and they are strong financially. So, why do they need to still give dowry. I don't see a purpose in giving so much money. It is more like going to the market and buying the groom.
Also, most of the guys who are getting married or planning to get married want a girl who is educated and can work. In that case, what is the use of dowry because the wife would be working and supporting the family.
Dowry is just an extra hassle for the girl's parents because whether whatever their financial position is, they will have to be able to arrange this huge amounts of money to get their daughter married. Does anyone realize how much struggle the parents go thru to get this dowry just so that their daughter is married happily.
Also, as someone commented earlier, I forgot who, that this money is going to stay with the girl herself, so she is not really loosing anything. Does the person realize that trouble parents go thru such as selling the property or taking loans or things like that. Why would the girl want her parents to go thru so much hassle and strain for that money which probably once married, the couple can earn probably in few months. And the money that the girl's parents are giving as dowry could be saved and probably used for themselves after retirement.
Posted by: Miss Madhavi Madhavi At: 16, Jul 2002 2:31:07 AM IST
I don't know if the dowry is a sin or not, but I definitely consider it to be more like a business deal where the groom's family has the upper hand and bride's family is ever burdened with trying to satisfy the groom's family.
It is fine for the girl's parents to give anything they want to the girl while she is leaving to her in-laws house. But in reality what is happening is that the groom's family have a definite say in what the girl should get.
Incredible amount of money being given as cash to the groom's family, in my opinion, is ridiculous.
If they gave dowry in olden days say about 50yrs ago, I kind of understand because at that time the husband took care of the wife. But nowadays, most of the wives too earns as they have their own education and they are strong financially. So, why do they need to still give dowry. I don't see a purpose in giving so much money. It is more like going to the market and buying the groom.
Also, most of the guys who are getting married or planning to get married want a girl who is educated and can work. In that case, what is the use of dowry because the wife would be working and supporting the family.
Dowry is just an extra hassle for the girl's parents because whether whatever their financial position is, they will have to be able to arrange this huge amounts of money to get their daughter married. Does anyone realize how much struggle the parents go thru to get this dowry just so that their daughter is married happily.
Also, as someone commented earlier, I forgot who, that this money is going to stay with the girl herself, so she is not really loosing anything. Does the person realize that trouble parents go thru such as selling the property or taking loans or things like that. Why would the girl want her parents to go thru so much hassle and strain for that money which probably once married, the couple can earn probably in few months. And the money that the girl's parents are giving as dowry could be saved and probably used for themselves after retirement.
Posted by: Miss Madhavi Madhavi At: 16, Jul 2002 2:30:24 AM IST
Mr kesava,
All such things sound great to tell or listen.But try to put it in practice.Do you think its all possible always.
Posted by: Mr. Vikram Ekollu At: 15, Jul 2002 4:46:51 PM IST
Similar in the case of arranged marriage too, I strongly condemn taking dowry either it is love marriage or arranged marriage, if consider taking dowry for love marriage is "sin" similar formula applies to arranged marriage too.
In arranged marriage, both are unknown to each other, once after getting married have a broad mind understanding each other. Thus can lead a happy life.
There are always some plus and minus in Love marriage and arranged marriage, can not strongly recommened world which is best, its all depend on their thoughts and way they lead once life. Life partner selection is some times like hicking a k2 mountain :-))
If got a understanding, caring and loving wife in to life, its like winnning a jackpot in Las Vegas. Hoooooo Hooo who cares abt "dowry".
Posted by: Mr. Kesava Kumar Grandhi At: 14, Jul 2002 11:04:40 PM IST
Mr Kesave,
Exactly.I was telling the same thing.If it is a love marriage asking for dowry is a sin.
But,How abt arranged marriages?
Posted by: Mr. Vikram Ekollu At: 14, Jul 2002 9:08:09 PM IST
Dear Vikram,
If I gonna go with love marriage all I need the girl to follow me. I am very confident that I can lead a happy life with her. As its love marriage I am sure am aware of her way of living, thoughts, feelings and interest. With which I can mould my self to prosper a decent life.
For all this I need to have a girl friend, which I need to start look for soon :-))
Cheers
Kesava
Posted by: Mr. Kesava Kumar Grandhi At: 14, Jul 2002 10:22:08 AM IST
Mr Kesava,
Thank you.I just cant imagine how your point (that the gal's parents will look afer such things when sending their daughter with somebody) didn't strike to me.I understand what you say and accept it.
But,you told me you are not married.If your's is going to be a love marriage,What are you going to look for? How can you make sure the girl you are gonna marry is exactly the kind of girl u like?
Posted by: Mr. Vikram Ekollu At: 14, Jul 2002 1:19:13 AM IST
Hi All,
Am very happy to join with you in regards to an interesting topic "dowry". I strongly condemn the statements given by Vikram and others who has given nice reason to support "dowry". Marriage is not a business where a person come to grooms market and pay money at cash counter and takes away Girl for an agreement for life long partner. If this is the case "dowry" needs to renamed.
If the girl parents while in search for bride needs to really care many issues like Job, his charecter, family and education.Why he needs so much selective? A parent who gave birth to a girl and made her grow is now handover to an unknown personality as a culture to send girl out of their home, till then girl was memeber of that house is no more theirs.
So finally inorder to get a girl married, a parent responsibility is to provide a girl better education, better life and see that she can lead her life independently....finally while giving to groom after marriage as girl parent checked your(groom) background does not mean to pay a cash or property as a culture of "dowry". What if you have 3 girls, does you really support this dowry system if you are in the position of the parent?
There are so many cinimatic defination are availble, but in realistic men basically youth really needs to stop this dowry system. When a girl is leaving their people behind and joining as your partner in turn we men really should take care of her.
Can you tell me what amount ("dowry") will really qualify, if you have good job, eduacation, good finanacial status. Being with all if your worth is 50 lakhs, how much do you deserve? 10 lakh in return or 20 lakh in return for your qualification? then does that money stay with you, what will you do if you evoporate all the "dowry" you have taken? what if you want additional money to lead your life, ask for additional money ( as you already habituated)? What you are doing is a pure business taking care of someone resposibility (bride) with their own money (when you conver with interest).
Though am not yet married, if I get chance to marry I will strictly follow non dowry system, which makes all the people happy and minimum in return will get good respect atleast from family members.
Finally, all these are my openion. Life is mere hardly u will lead 40 to 50 years once you marry, better welcome a nice partner who will share and care. Which is more than a million dollors worth. Done price love.
Am expecting girls/ladies will strongly oppose this "dowry" system, what I find here is different openions. If girl parents wanted to give with their own interest is a different issue. Can be considered as a toekn of gift with love.
Thanks
Kesava
Posted by: Mr. Kesava Kumar Grandhi At: 13, Jul 2002 11:22:10 PM IST
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