Comment and Discuss on TeluguPeople.com Articles

Arranged or love which one is better?????

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hi kusuma.hear is santosh as u say that arranged marriage is good .my to think in that way.u said that if we marre the love marriage we will be not supported but can u show the arranged marrage supported by the parent and the others that u told .iaggre that there some love marriage which are not good where there they face problem .in arrange marrage also they face problem.ok this my feeling i have to say lot but there is not time .u replay to this then i will sand my another messs

Posted by: Mr. vala santosh kumar At: 5, Aug 2003 1:47:50 PM IST

love marriages and arranged marriages r same as long as both partners r happy.but i support in arranged marriages.in our relatives there r both love marriages &arranged marriages all r happy.so we cant say which one is the best..........

Posted by: Mrs. madhavi madhavi At: 15, Jul 2003 4:03:42 PM IST

MARRIAGE!! It donot really matter what kind of marriage is it, either love or arranged.What really matters is how true and honest r the persons/partners. The real thing in a marriage is love/trust/friendship, not the support of any other external people. Love marraiges (most of) fail not because of the lack of parents support and suggestions and arranged marriages (most of)do fail not because there is a lack of enough intraction between the guy and gal.And on the other hand neither of the one is succesful because of the opposite.Rather one has to develop an attitude of changing , learning and growing in a relation , shud know to respect ,trust, help and love the partner. I wish all the parents shud try to make a marriage as arranged-love and love-arranged. Think of how wonderful it wud be in such a case.. Cheers everyone :)

Posted by: Ms. siri Ch At: 13, Mar 2003 9:07:46 AM IST

My dear telugu people, Nice to see ur opinion regarding marriage and i can understand the author's intention in posting this article. Few of u had put your views. But the thing is no one had discussed seriously in this article. I am here just to put my personal opinions and in no way to oppose any body. Theoritically every one accepts that love marriage is better becuase there is the chance for both the guy and girl to know well abt thier life partners. Because they have to live for the whole life with that person. so i say it is better go for love marriage. But we often come across failure in love marriage. Do u know why this happens?? My reason is that thier love is not TRUE. They were just attracted by one another and thought that they were real lovers. If they really loves one another at any risk they will hold on each other untill they leave this world. so there is no need to blame love marriages by seeing the failure of some of name sake love marriages which are not actually love marriages. coming to arranged marriages, i don't say it is bad because in india more than 90% are arranged marriages and many are living happily. But do u know how this is possible. there are three cases 1) Both are good natured and love each other. (very rare to find) 2)Even though the husband is a bad company, because of our tradition and respect for THAALI an average indian woman don't like to get divorced from her husband. 3)And there are cases where a husband adjusts for the situations. don't think that i am mad. This is true. so if we look at failure of a marriage, we can see more number in arranged marraiges than that of love marriages. The first obstacle is the DOWRY. Author has given an example about her friend's life. She said that her friend was decieved by a malayalee man. If this is the case how can a girl believe a person completely new to her will love her? why can't he decieve her after taking the dowry? Just think once if that malayalee guy had an arranged marriage, then do u think that he will love his wife? do u think that he won't be having relations with other woman?? do u think he will leave his bad qualities? you know the situation. so here it is very clear that the character of person is the most important thing. Whether it is love marriage or an arranged marriage if any one of the 2 are not good definitely their relationship will be at verge of failure. There is a saying that "VEYYI ABADDALU CHEPPI AYINA OKA PELLI CHEYANDI ". I don't know why they say like that, but i say "OKA NIJAM CHEPPI AYINA PELLINI AAPANDI". Here i am not crazy. try to understand why i have said like that. And Mrs.kusuma said that if we go for love marriage we have to loose our parents wishes. I know this, but why can't the parents understand their children? the main problem for them is not abt the character of that guy/girl but the CASTE. Just for the sake of traditions many parents are dividing true lovers. How far can u justify this? So when things are going like this can't we help this? yes we can do something here. when ever a boy commits any mistake first we will blame his parents. Isn't it? I totally agree with this. Becuase the parents are the cause for thier children to behave like that. They did not teach him what is right and what is wrong. There might be some influencing factors in the surroundings that made him to turn into a bad citizen, but then the parents should keep him in good track. won't u agree with this? Leave about the past. Bring up your children with love and care. Induce humanity into their mind and make them a respectable citizens. Now here is one question for you. If you bring ur children in this manner and if he falls in love do u think that his married life will be lost just with in weeks? So what i want to conclude is that the character is the first and the last thing to consider. what ever the marriage may be. I support love marriage because, "a good friend can become a good husband but we can't say that a husband can become a good friend" Take time and think about this once. Love is so precious. Don't decline its value by seeing some few failures. Today if at all we are having a little peace in our life means just because atleast we love our family members(because in this present generation who cares for others?). If we start hating our own family members just imagine how can we live in this world. I know u can't imagine that. "love brings peace into our life" so decide ur self whether u want peace in ur life or not. regards, Balu.

Posted by: Mr. balaji kati At: 27, Feb 2003 0:26:48 AM IST

Let me reply to sagars harsh comments.He says I speak like an illeterate.I am educated and to tell you the truth I am a Gynaecologist.love marriage never run succefully in life.I know of many lov emarrigaes which got broken in few weeks after marraige. For example I ahd a freind called Reni(name changed)She got married to a guy.I was really happy when they got married as Ifelt they were reaaly in love.But soon after marriage problems started erupting in their family.The husband she realised wa s a bad man He used to drink and smoke and also used to have relationship with other womenThen she went to severe depression Thgough she had got married against their parents wishes they could npot se etheir daughter suffering in that way So they took the help of one hyder ali and they got them divorced Also they could get lot of money from this man who tried to cheat her This guy was a malayalee guy na dthe girl was from nellor ein nadra pradesh she really suffered be caus eof this so always we should respect our parents and we should marry only nic etelugu boys they are the best guys we can ever have Telugu guys ar ethe best I am married to anothe rdoctor who is a very niceperson and we ar eliving very happily but what about people like my freind reni who got married to that malylee fellow he was a drunkard and a somoker kusuma kumari G

Posted by: Mrs. Dr Kusuam kUmari Naidu At: 24, Feb 2003 4:27:24 PM IST

You are a doctor Mrs NAdiu and still you talked like a illiterate , One good advice … give ur opinion but don’t advice no one needs ur advice and no one has asked even … what kind of statistics you have to pass such a big comment like that “Mostly Malayaalees and kannadigaas do not get along with telugu people well.” May be u have a very bad expirence so tell “ IN MY OPENION “ don’t give a generalized statement …. People like you are a curse to the Women Education …. Because people like you make this society a more complicated one …. As for as coming to the topic I think as long as we children are lucky enough not to have hypocritical parents like you we are better off either we marry some one we like or if we are not lucky to find one marry someone parents choses … but given a chance its good to go with a love marriage … …To marry some one whome u know and who can understand ur fellings and limitations … Yea I do agree Arranged marriages also Work because In INDIA we still have Girls ( I think we are all lucky ( I mean buys ) where in Girls understand and compromise for the sake of family …

Posted by: Mr. Kumar Sagar At: 24, Feb 2003 0:38:06 AM IST

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