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Articles: Poetry | | Heaven in my view. | |
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| Chaala baagundi...
Posted by: UK At: 24, Mar 2003 3:34:24 PM IST
hey
i loved this very much
thats y i came just to read this once again
y r u not writing anything now?
Posted by: Viplove K At: 19, Mar 2003 7:28:49 PM IST
I wanted to read this again and when i read , iwanted to say onemore thing.
Please keep writing, i am feeling as if i am writing while reading this.
I wish to see one poem like this atleast once in a week.
Posted by: Viplove K At: 9, Mar 2003 6:33:53 PM IST
I loved the meaning of poem, but, if u dont mind, i would like to give some suggestions.
u wrote, "flying up to the sky", "above the sky" will be a beter and appropriate line for the meaning u wanted to convey.
When we r writing a pome in a language, which is not our language, we should think like that only, U wrote, there are angels, thousands, lakhs and millions. That word "lakhs" is seldom found in english poems, English ppl wont count in lakhs.
Then u wrote "closer an closer" ,i t might better if u dont repeat same words.
And again u repeated about "glory on robes"
The last line which is giving the meaningof poem, all of a sudden appeared deviated from the poem as it lacked the poetic tinge which gave life to all other lines.
i am sorry if my suggestions made u feel bad. I wanted to see u write better.
Meaning is very good.
Thank u, 'cos i happenned to read this at right time.
Posted by: Viplove K At: 9, Mar 2003 6:29:58 PM IST
good bagundi....
its lot better than ur previous wan....
keep writing...
Posted by: Mr. M.S.Reddy At: 9, Mar 2003 2:52:01 AM IST
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