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Articles: Poetry | | railu banDi | |
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| namastaenanDi ! I think ee issues already address chaesaanu anae anukunTunnaa mari. meeru kaevalam vibhinna Saililoaa cheppaaru antae ani naa abhipraayam.
inkoa saari vivarinchaDaaniki prayatnistaa...
modaTi stanza loa viDipoani anaesaaka...renDoo aekamai..ani maLLee vaaDDam ...sandarbham maarakunDaa ilaanTi prayoagam chaeyaDam artham kaani vairudhyam. renDu kalisi poaayaaka koolipoayae asthitvam ataka laedu nijaaniki. maLLee anduloa gamyam ani vaaDDam maroa vairudhyamaina aaloachana. chivarloa...kaaTi vaakili puruTi loagiLLa madhyaloa parugeDutunnaa...anTae maLLee jeevanmaraNaalanu adoa samaantara dRuSyangaa varNinchaalani prayatninchaDam. mottangaa kavi/ kavayitri bhaavaa vaesham loa consistency laekapoavaDaanni teliya jaestaayi. kavayitri spashTamaina aloachanalanu inkaa roopu diddukoa laedu ani artham avutundi ee vairudhyamaina vyakteekaraNa loa.
railu paTTaalu kalavvu veeDi poavu. andukae kalisinaTTu unDaDam oka avaastavam. idi oka bhautika vaada aloachana. vaaTini kalisinaTTugaanoa kalustunnaaTTu gaanoa oohistoo raasukunToo poayinappuDu anta spashTangaa vivarinchaDam valla paaThakuDiloa confusing clarity vachchae pramaadam undi. :) ....
meeru point out chaesina bahuvachana prayoagam loa jarigina porapaaTu oppukunTunnaanu.
infact idae danger kavitanu tiriga dippi raayaDam loa. endukanTae aa kavitanu kooDaa marinta improve chaesae scope elaagoo unTundi. avi defects gaa project kaavachchu...mottangaa deviate avvachchu. andukae saadhya mainanta varaku naenu ilaa attempt chaeyanu. idi okae vishayaanni oka oohaatmaka chitrangaa kaaka jeevitam maraNam anae oka philosophy ni paaThakuniki inkaa vaeraelaa elaa oppinchochchoa choopinchae prayatnam. adi kaasta charchaku doahada paDtundanae aaSa antae.
meeru maroa saari jaagartagaa aloachinchanDi. ee kavita paaThakuDini naDipinchaDam loa vairudhya rahitangaa project ayyindaa laedaa ani. oka vaeLa avunu anae anTae naenu cheppagaligindi intae
Posted by: Mr. Aandhrudu At: 22, Dec 2005 11:08:20 PM IST
Sorry Andhrudu garu, I cannot agree with your comments on this poem. Infact I liked the original poem more than your attempt.
mIru cheppina abhyaMtarAlu reMDu. okaTi railu paTTAlu viDipOvani anaDaM. dIniki anupama gAri vivaraNatO nEnu EkIbhavistunnAnu. railu paTTAla saMbaMdhaM vichitramainadi. avi kalavvu, alA ani viDipOvu kUDA. oka railu paTTA ekkaDA uMDadu kadA! ika reMDava abhyaMtaraM, 'EkamayyE astitwaM' guriMchi. dIniki anupamagArichchina vivaraNa kUDA sarigAnE anipiMchiMdi. kavitalO mIranna abstractness kaligiMchi, pAThakulani AlOchiMpajEsE vAkyAlivi. aMchEta I kavitalO vairudhyAlEvI nAku kanapaDalEdu.
oka gADhamaina vishayAnni aMtakannA gADhaMgA, gUDhaMgA cheppochchu. lEdA chAlA saraLaMgAnU cheppochchu. okkokka kaviki sahajaMgA vachche style baTTi uMTuMdi. anupama gAridi saraLamaina rIti. mIdi koMta gUDhamaina rIti, aMtE tEDA.
ika mI prayatnaMlO nAku nachchani oka aMSaM, kavita modaTlO railu paTTAlugA unna janana maraNAlu chivarakochchEsariki reMDu stationsgA lEka haltsgA mAripOvaDaM. anupamagAri kavitalO okaTE image chivaridAkA maintain ayiMdi. alEgE 'puriTi lOgiLLu' ani bahuvachanaM vADi 'kATi vAkili' annadi EkavachanaM eMdukuvADArO arthaM kAlEdu.
mI kavitalO 'nEnu' oka vyakti ayitE, anupamagAri kavitalO 'nEnu' jIvatatwaM ani nAkanipiMchiMdi.
Posted by: Mr. Kameswara Rao Bh At: 22, Dec 2005 8:36:16 PM IST
kiraN gaaru! mee concern ku kRutaNgunni. kaanee aafeesu aemee migalchaDam laedanDee... regyular` gaa ikkaDiki vachchi kaasaepu saradaagaa gaDUpudaamanukunTae. appaTikee konta tongi choosae veltunnaanu. adee sangati !
anupama gaaru !
ee madhya naaku nachchina kavitaa sankalanam okaTi ' kavitaa oa kavitaa '( paapinaeni Siva Sankar` ) chooDanDi. anduloa pratyaekata aemanTae sumaaru 50 kavula kavitvam undi. prati okkari sTail adhyayanam chaeyaDaaniki toaDpaDtundi. aedannaa buk sTaal keLLi ( navayuga, navoadaya, viSaalandhra etc. ) Siva saagar kavitvam ani aDaganDi. naaku nachchae inkoa kavi cherabanDa raaju. Sivaa reDDi abstract gaa kavityvam raayaDam loa diTTa ani naa abhipraayam. aayanavi Trai chaeyanDi.
kaanee prati kavikee kavitvaaniki unDaalsina prerequisite vachchi oka framework of thinking . adi oka kavi tanaku taanugaa develop chaesukoavaalsina avasaram undi. aa kramamloanae sRujanaatmaka ngaa taarkikangaa oohaa Sakti perugutundani naa abhipraayam. anTae kaviki kaavaalsindi kaevalam bhaasha meeda paTTu maatramae kaadu ani cheppaDam. maamoolu manishilaa maaTlaaDaali.maamoolu manishilaa kooDaa bhaava vyakteekaraNa jaragachchu. kaani maamoolu manishilaa vishayaalu grahinchaDam jaraga raadu. aa aspect loa maatram paaThakuDiki konta dooramlo unDi kavi oka superior position capture chaeyaali. andukoasam vistRutangaa adhyayanam chaeyamani naa salahaa. inTloa vanTa chaestaamu. vanaTa kudiritae baavundi anTaamu. laepoatae baalaedu anTaamu. chooDDaaniki idi entoa saadhaaraNangaa kanipinchinaa vanTa chaesaeTappuDu oka illaali aloachanaa sravanti vanTa elaa kudurutundoa anna oohala varasa, vanTa pai dhyaanam, aa kramamloa concern , vanTa loa ae aiTam enta vaeyaalaa anae oka prayoagaatmaka dRukpatham, vanTa chaestunnappuDu koTTochchinaTTu agupinchae Saareeraka Srama, aa tarvaata tana kuTumba sabhyula toa kalisi koorchuni adi marichi poayae vidhaanamu, tanu chaesina vanTa loa enta saphalam chendindi anae oka evaluation process ivannee oka maanava jeevitamloa dainandika jeevitamloa maanasika vikaasa puroagatiloa pratyakshangaanoa paroakshangaanoa prabhaavitam chaesae vishayaalu. choosae vidhaanam simpul` gaa kanipinchinaa kavigaa manishi jeevitaanni spRushinchae vishayaanni gamanichagaligi capture chaesinappuDu 50 Saatam kavigaa mee pani poorti ainaTTae. ika bhaasha pai paTTu. idi bhaashaa Saastraanni adhyayanam chaesae vishayam. aitae aadhunika kavitvam deenni marinta sulabha taram chaesindi. manam kavitvam manaku toachinaa yaasaloa kooDaa raayochchu. bottom line enta touching gaa undanae. idi kaevalam karta karma kriyalanu aToo iToo tippi raayaDamoa, vigraha samaasaalanu koorchi raayaDam maatramae kaadu. aitae ee bhaashaa prayoagam kooDaa ae vidhangaa choose chaesukoavaali annadi bhaasha meeda enta paTTu unnaa maLLee manam modaTagaa cheppukunnaTTu maanava jeevitaanni spRushinchae dRukpatham avagaahana laekunTae feyil avutaamu ani naa abhipraayam.
ivi naaloa unna aloachanalu. karekT anae balamaina nammakam undi. ee charcha padi mandiki upayoaga karangaa unTundi ani share chaesukunTunnaanu.
mari selav`
Posted by: Mr. Aandhrudu At: 22, Dec 2005 0:59:23 AM IST
modaTagaa naaku anta seen` laedu. naavannee random thoughts . araa koraa pustakaalu chadivi padi manditoa charchinchi naerchukunna konni vishayaalu panchukunTunnaanu tappa viNgaanam laanTi goppa padaalu to vaayinchukunaenta seen` nijangaanae laedu
vishayam loaki -
sariggaa express chaesaaru.
ikkaDa ee kavitaloa samasya aenTanTae cheppaalsina vishayaanni konni poalikalatoa vivarangaa cheppaalani prayatninchae kramamloa konni vairudhya bhaavanalu prakaTinchaDam . modaTagaa artham chaesukoavaalsindaemanTae jeevitaanni meeru choosae koaNam oka bhaava vaadaaniki sambandhinchina vishayam. alaanTi vishayaanni spashTamaina poalikala prastaavana teesuku vachchinappuDu vyakteekaraNaloa kooDaa samporNa maina spashTata unDaali. laedanTae abstractness technique upayoaginchi paaThakuDiki DibaeT ainaa peTTaali. jeevitaanni bhautikavaada koaNam loa pariSeelistae ee poalikalu ivaemee chellavu. paaThakuDu chaesae pani kooDaa adae. alaanTappuDu avagaahana loa vachchae vairudhya bhaavanalanu paaThakuDu resolve chaesukoalaeDu. kaabaTTi poalikalanu sooTigaa prastaavincha dalchukunTae, avi mottangaa eTuvanTi contradiction laekunDaa unDaeTTu choosukoavaDam manchidi. laedaa abstract gaa poalika mottaanni mukka mukka vivarinchakunDaa vadilaesinaa parlaedu.
ika meeru vaesina praSnalu. very good questions ! .
okkoaTi chooddaam.
(1) poalika 100 Saatam match avvaalaa anna praSna kavitvaaniki laajik khachchitangaa unDaalaa anna renDu praSnalu vaeru vaeru praSnalu nijaaniki.
100 Saatam poalika unDaalsina avasaram laedu. appuDu kavi anduku tagina bhaashanu aruvu techchukuni enta guppiTloa unchaalaa enta paaThukuDi oohaku vadilaeyaalaa aloachinchukoavaali. spashTamaina poalika lloa vishayam vyakta mautunTae maatram vairudhya bhaavanalaemee laekunDaa choosukoavaali. laedanTae abstract gaa vadilaestae reader will enjoy more the thinking process he has undergone .
kavitvaaniki laajik khachchitangaa unDaalaa anTae kavitvaanikae kaadu daenikaina laajik khachchitangaa unDaali. aitae aa laajik elaa unDaali annadi sariggaa avgaahana unchukoavaali. jaagartagaa gamanistae konni kavitalloa unDae randomness laajik laekunDaa unnaTTu anipistundi. nijaaniki aa randomness loa oka uniformity and coordination unTundi . anta maatraana anduloa laajik laedani cheppalaem.
(2) kavitvam annadi oohalaku sambandhinchindi. yathaarthaaniki oohaku saman`vayam unDaalaa?....idi nirNayinchaalanTae ae dRukpathamtoa kavitvam raastunnaaru ae sadarbham loa kavitvam raastunnaru ae vishayam pai kavitvam raastunnaaru anna daanni baTTi unTundi. aedi aemainaa samavyam kudarani samayam loa kooDaa oka laajik unDaali. aakasmikangaa ' aakaaSam loa egurtunna pilli ' annaamanukoanDi.....adi yathaarthaaniki an`vayinchukoavaDam kashTam unless next sentence loa andukanuguNangaa inkoa vaakyam unTae tappa.
daya chaesi ikkaDaedoa maedhaavula charcha laedaa anDa pinDa brahmaanDa vidwaamsulu unnaaranukoakanDi. Tp puNyamaa ani aedoa firendly gaa charchinchi views exchange chaesukoagaligae avakaaSam aerpaDindi. u will do a good job go ahead !
ee charcha loa inkaa evarannaa inputs ivva galigitae meeku marinta upayoagakarangaa unTundi mari .
PS: venTanae udaaharaNalatoa vivarinchalaekapoaayaanu kshaminchanDi. alaa chaesi unTae inkaa clarity ekkuva unDaedi. aitae samayam oapika laevu. paigaa ippaTikae sudeergham ayyindi. inta kanTae deerghaalu teeyaDam anyaayam kooDaanu. adee sangati.
ekkaDoa okaoohatoa ilaa raasaa ( idi paeraDee kaadu anta kannaa kavayitri raasina vishayaannae tirigi raayaDam kaadu. charchaku marinta doahadam chaestundanae uddaeSyamae ) ilaa unTae elaa unDaedi I dont know mari alaa Trai chaesaa.
avaastavam laa
kalisi poayina
jananam
maraNam
renDU railu paTTaallaa
asthitvam adRuSyaanni
tera dinchi choosae
vaastavika dRuSya chitram loa -
puriTi loagiLLa
vadda kootatoa
kaaTi vaakili vadda chaeraDaaniki
kaalam toa parigeDutunna
railu banDi
naenu !
mee aloachana mottam tippaesi raasinaTTunnaanu choostunTae...:)
Posted by: Mr. Aandhrudu At: 20, Dec 2005 4:21:28 PM IST
naaku nijaaniki okaru raasina kavitanu manam tiraga raasi chooyinchaDam pai pedda Sraddha laedanDi. ilaanTi kavitalloa abstractness manchi ootaannistundi. paaThakuDu ( ID kaadu ) seeriyas` gaa aloachinchi...kavi cheppalanukunnaa bhaavananu asvaadinchaDaaniki prayatninchi oka manchi thought process ku guravutaaDu. meeku kaavaalsindi meeru cheppa dalchukunna vidhaanam loa unDae underlying principle adae kadaa? :)
Posted by: Mr. Aandhrudu At: 20, Dec 2005 1:06:03 AM IST
modaTagaa railu paTTaalu viDipoayae unTaayi...kalisinaTTugaa unDae bhramanu upayoaginchukoadalchaaraa?...cliyar` gaa laedanDi.
jananam maraNam renDU paTTaalainappuDu avi renDu kalisipoavaDam anTae alaa artham chaesukoaavaali?...
aloachana kaankreeT` gaa faam` avvaka munDae kavitaa roopam vachchaesindi :)....manchi prayatnamae khachchitangaa...
kaviki kaavaalsindi...oka machyooriTee anDi..oka spashTata... often they turn out to be intelluctuals debating on various issues alaa endukavutundi kavitvam maatramae raasukoavachchu kadaa anTae....aa aloachanaa sravanti...vaariloa unDae oka baadhyataa yutamaina bhaavana alaa laakku poavaalsindae. laepoatae oka manchi kavigaa sthira paDDam kashTam.
anta pedda TaargeT`s manakoddu lenDi prastutaaniki. aedoa chinna vaaLLam...ikkaDa kalisi chinna chinna charchalu chaesukunae vaaLLam. aitae...aa aloachana annadi manam aloachinchukoavaalsina vishayam. okka saari aloachinchanDI modalu...jeevitam loa unDae nirliptata aenTi?..avi railu paTTaala toanoo , railu banDI toanoo elaanTi saaroopyata kaligi unTaayi?.... philosophical gaa choosi elaa interpret chaeyaali?..jeevitaanni railu banDilaa chooDDaaniki manalni prompt chasina vishayaalaenTi?..koddigaa aa direction loa serious gaa aalochinchanDi. compromise kaavaddu. definite gaa inta kanTae manchi kavita vastundi...
Posted by: Mr. Aandhrudu At: 20, Dec 2005 0:53:32 AM IST
jeevita prayaaNam loa oka nirliptata vyaktam chaesae prayatnam baanae unnaa... inherent gaa ee kavita konni porapaaTlaku gurayyindi.
modaTagaa railu paTTaalu veeDipoavu annaTTu cheppi alaanae jananam maraNam ani cheppaDam....aa tarvaata stanza loa paTTaalu renDu kalisipoayi aekamayyii.... ani annaaru. modaTagaa poalika loa vairudhyam okaTaitae inkoaTi prastaavanaloa vairudhyam maroaTi. maLLee gamyam asthitvam ani adi koolipoatundani cheppaDam sariggaa kudarlaedu.
ee kavitaloa inkaa abstractness teesuku vachchi unTae inkaa baavunDaedi. ilaanTi kavitalaku aTuvanTi style sari poatundi.
kavitvaaniki spashTata ( explict expression ) avasaram laekapoavachchu kaani kaviki maatram aloachanaloa spashTata avasaram. daanni baTTae kavitvam loa aspashTatanu elaa ooristoo paaThakuDi ( ID kaadu ) mundu unchaaloa work out chaeyochchu.
good effort anDi.
Posted by: Mr. Aandhrudu At: 19, Dec 2005 5:32:17 PM IST
baguMdaMDi... kanI prEmAMjali gAranaTlu ..... alA vuMTE bAguMTuMdEmO aMDi
Posted by: GurusRi At: 19, Dec 2005 3:35:43 PM IST
mundari kavitalki chUsukonTE idi konchem bAgundanDI
Posted by: Mr. Vastav Alok At: 19, Dec 2005 10:46:00 AM IST
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