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Articles: Humour | Enjoy this comedy stuff
- Sanvi Sarma
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When an insect falls into a mug of beer the…
Englishman:
* Throws his mug away and walks out
American:
* Takes the insect out and drinks the beer
Chinese:
* Eats the insect and throws the beer away
Indian:
* Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.
Pakistani:
* Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer
* Relates the issue to Kashmir
* Asks the Chinese for Military aid
* Takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer
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WHEN MATHS COLLIDES WITH PHYSICS
Once a maths teacher (male) while walking though school corridor accidentally collided with physics teacher (female).
The teacher became furious...
Physics Teacher: 'Are you blind, you mathematician? You fool! You allowed my centre of gravity to fall beyond your legs and purposefully struck me'.
Maths Teacher:'Madam this is not a question of perpendicularity. You should have walked perpendicular to the ground, but you are making an acute angle with the horizontal surface and your projected shoulder collided with my hand. Madam you ought to have come parallel to me. Don’t you know that parallel lines never intersect? But you came diagonally and intersected me'.
Physics Teacher (shouted): 'I shall knock you down and change position of your hair on your head with an external force in the form of my sandal '.
Maths Teacher (angrily) :' You are at present a line, I will reduce you to a ray , to a segment and finally to a point reduced to infinity '.
In the meantime students brought the Principal to resolve the dispute. Principal also happened to be a physics teacher. He suggested that both of them must go and study
the magnetic statement :
'Two opposite poles always attract each other'.
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NEVER MARRY A SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Never marry a software engineer. Just have a look at this conversation and then decide for yourself.
Husband - Hi dear, I am logged in.
Wife - Would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - Hard disk full.
Wife - Have you bought the saree?
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - But I told you about it in the morning
Husband - Erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - Hey Bhagawan! Forget it. Where's your salary?
Husband - File in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife – At least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - Sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - Data type mismatch.
Wife - You are useless.
Husband - By default.
Wife - Who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - System unstable press ctrl, alt, del to reboot.
Wife - What is the relation between you & your receptionist?
Husband - The only user with write permission.
Wife - What is my value in your life?
Husband - Unknown virus detected.
Wife - Do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - Program performed illegal operation, it will close.
Wife - I will leave you for ever.
Husband - Close all programs & log out for another user.
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