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Articles: Humour | Ramayana by Bill Gates
- Mr. pradyumana kumar Panditi
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LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs--RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat and SED-rughana.
RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY. His brothers, however, were only PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess 'C'ta. 12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTAL RAM as his successor.
However, Queen CIE/CAE (KayeKayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat for a lifesaving HELP COMMAND, took this opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid (a real plotter), and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and that RAM be BOOTED to the forest for 14 years.
At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE passed thru DOS-rat and he collapsed, power-less. RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and 'C'ta insisted to LOGIN with him. LSI-man was also resolved on LOGGING IN with his brother.
The forest was the dwelling of SPARCnakha, the TRANSISTOR of RAW-van, PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that he marry her. RAM, politely declined. Perceiving 'C'ta to be the SOURCE CODE of her distress, she hastened to kill her. Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by TRANSISTOR's plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha. MAR-icha REPROGRAMED himself into the form of a golden stag and drew RAM deep into the forest. Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who,with his last breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice. Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, 'C'ta urged LSI-man to his brother's aid.
Catching theopportunity, RAW-van DELINKED 'C'ta from her LIBRARY and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka. INTERVAL RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing 'C'ta all over the forest. They made friendship with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN. SU-greev agreed tohelp RAM.
SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful 'SEARCH' techniques to FIND the missing 'C'ta. His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried to 'EXCITE' the birds and animals not to forget the 'WEBCRAWLERS'(Insects) and tried to 'INFO SEEK' something about 'C'ta. Some of them even shouted 'YAA-HOO' but they all ended up with 'NO FOUND' MESSAGES. Several other SEARCH techniques proved useless.
Ha-NEUMAN devised a RISKy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross these as at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. After doing some local SEARCH, Ha-NEUMAN found 'C'ta weeping under a TREE STRUCTURE. Ha-NEUMAN used a SECURE TOKEN ID (ring) to identify himself to 'C'ta. After DECRYPTING THE KEY, 'C'ta believed in him and asked him to send a STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM.
Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around 'C'ta captured Ha-NEUMAN and tried to DELETE him using pyro-techniques. But Ha-NEUMAN managed to spread chaos by spreading the VIRUS 'Fire'. Ha-NEUMAN happily pressed ESCAPE from LAN-ka and conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev.
RAW-wan decided to take the all powerful RAM head-on and prepared for the battle. One of the RAW-wan's SUN(son) almost DELETED RAM & LSI-man with a powerful brahma-astra. But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-X gradients and REBOOTED RAM and LSI-man. RAM used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and once for all wiped out RAW-wan's presense on earth. After the battle, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his MICROSOFT WORKS and other USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and every one lived happily ever after.
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