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Articles: Humour | How to avoid marketing executives?
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, 'How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?'
2. If a call centre executive says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
3. This one works better if you are male:
Telemarketer: 'Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services'
You: 'Hang on a second.' (few seconds pause) 'Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?'
4. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, 'Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you been?' Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
5. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, 'I don't have any friends . . . would you be my friend?' Or else, say 'Uh-huh, really, that's fascinating.' Finally, when they ask you to register, ask them to marry you.
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