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Articles: Time Pass | The Blonde
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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Trip To New York
A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,'I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat.' The blonde replied,'Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York.' The attendant said,'That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat.' The blonde responded again, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York.'
This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach.
The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. He said, 'I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York.'
I Am Not A Blonde
A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and again the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, 'How do you know I am a blonde?'
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,'That's not a TV - it's a microwave.'
Blondes Are Not Dumb
A group of people decide to prove that blondes are not really dumb. For this reason, they gather 80,000 natural blondes at Wembley stadium. A guy who`s hosting the show randomly picks out one blonde and asks her to come down to the center. They are standing at the microphone as he asks her:
'What`s two times two?'
'Five', answers the blonde and smiles.
The guy shakes his head, but the whole stadium shouts, 'Give her another chance, give her another chance!'
Then the guy asks her, 'What`s three times three?'
'Eight', answers the blonde proudly.
The guy is about to let her return to her seat, but the whole stadium starts to shout again, 'Give her another chance, give her another chance!'
So the guy asks her one more question. 'What`s four times four?'
'Sixteen', answers the blonde shyly.
Before the guy expresses his reaction, the whole stadium starts to shout, 'Give her one more chance, give her one more chance!'
Blonde bank robbers
Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Judy plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Buffie, in great detail.
The robbery begins.
Judy drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Buffie, 'I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?'
'Perfectly,' said Buffie.
Buffie goes in the bank while Judy waits in the getaway car.
One minute passes . . .
Two minutes pass . . .
Seven minutes pass . . . and Judy is really stressing out.
Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Buffie. She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car.
About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out.
The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon.
As the gals are getting away, Judy says 'You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!'
Buffie said, 'I did . . . I did exactly what you said!'
'No, you idiot,' said Judy. 'I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!'
Intelligent Blondes
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it.' The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next.'
Blonde Brains
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said 'Oh, look at the deer tracks.'
The other blonde looks and says 'Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks.'
'No. Those are deer tracks.'
They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train
Wild Guesses
The blonde reported for her university final examination which consists of 'yes/no' type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for heads and No for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. 'I finished the exam in half an hour. But I'm rechecking my answers.'
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