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Articles: My Thoughts | Talking to oneself!
- Mr. Cupid Cuddlesome
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What's really weird about this? Is that the act of talking to ourselves is actually a sign that we are self-aware and that we seek insight into our own actions?
Talking to ourselves mentally is actually a hallmark of being human and proof that we are a higher species.
WE ALL DO IT!
We all have mental conversations with ourselves. It's not whether we do it or not. It's what we say to ourselves that matters.
WHAT DO WE SAY TO OURSELVES?
It would be wonderful if we only said well-thought-out, self-protective, self-loving things to ourselves.
It would be wonderful, but it's just not true for most of us most of the time. A lot of self-talk is critical. It is as if our private mental world is occupied by a watchdog who is always anxious to point out our flaws.
To a degree, this is self-protective. But one of the quickest and best ways to improve our lives is through changing negative self-talk. How do we go about it?
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR SELF-TALK
* Become aware of it.
* Label its source.
* Change it.
* Notice how different you feel.
* Decide whether to change it further.
* Don't think you are finished.
BECOMING AWARE OF YOUR SELF-TALK
Are all of you aware how to engage a self-talk with yourself? Write down all the things good and bad about yourself on a paper and make a checklist how to overcome your bad things. Review the listed paper from time to time.
LABELING ITS SOURCE
All self-talk that makes you feel bad originally came from someone else! Learn to identify who said this about you in your past. And mentally label the negative self-talk with the name of the person you got it from.
CHANGING IT
Simply change the thing you say to yourself into something that you'd like to believe that would make you feel better.
NOTICING HOW DIFFERENT YOU FEEL
Try the new self-talk for a short time (anything from a few hours to a couple of days or so). See how it feels, and learn the DEGREE to which these new, kinder statements are actually true.
DECIDING WHETHER TO CHANGE IT FURTHER
Make a new decision about what you will say to yourself about this in the future. Make what you say to yourself self-caring, self-protective, and something you honestly believe to be true.
KNOWING YOU ARE NOT FINISHED
You will be growing and changing all of your life. Updating your self-talk will always be necessary. Even when you finally finish making new decisions about the really negative stuff there will still be the need to update self-talk based on the changes that life brings your way.
BECOME YOUR OWN THERAPIST
Good therapy aims at well-thought-out, self-loving, and self-protective new decisions. When you follow the steps in this topic you are essentially becoming your own therapist!
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