Your guide to talk like geeks
* Source: valleyofthegeeks.com
Are you always in awe of the people using technical words with utmost ease? Here's a collection of tech buzzwords with their real definitions.
Fully compatible: Same old features
Upwardly compatible: Lots of new Bugs
New and Improved: Totally incompatible
Beta: Software that isn't quite ready. As in 'beta late than never.'
Alpha: Software so bad that the beta testers won't even install it.
Shipping: Someone in ZIP code 00001 has received a copy of the software, most likely the brother-in-law of the product manager. Your copy won't arrive for three weeks!
Announced date: The date the product manager was hoping to go on vacation.
On-line help: Calling the psychic hotline for technical support.
RTFM: A special acronym tech support professionals use to denote customers who deserve extra care & attention, as in 'Read the F***ing Manual.'
Windows 95: Announced in '93, scheduled for '94, obsolete within six months.
Windows 98: Now with tail fins and chrome bumpers.
Windows NT: Needs time.
Windows XP: Extreme Patience required for upgrade.
Windows XP compatible: It's pretty much the same... isn't it?
DOS Mode: Software that lets you reboot before you run it instead of after.
Linux: Technically superior operating system favoured by cult leaders everywhere.
Visionary: A CEO who has not yet bankrupted a company.
Chief Technology Officer: In charge of the PowerPoint slide show.
Focus group: Buying drinks for analysts.
Market research: Buying drinks for customers.
Industry insiders: Disgruntled employee after a few too many drinks.
Remote debugger: The company CEO travelling to branch offices.
Ada, Pascal, Perl: Popular names for programmers' children.
Snobol, Rexx, Python, Fortran: Popular names for programmers' pets.
Trade secret: We lost the source code.
Pentium Pro: Someone who works at Intel & sells slower processors for more money.
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