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Articles: Humour | Office Rules that scare the Employees
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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Employee scaring office rules
All the companies work towards building an employee friendly environment. But these rules can scare even the best of employees.
DRESS CODE:
Dress according to your salary. If you are seen wearing Rs 3,500 Prada sneakers & carrying a Rs 2,000 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well & don't need a raise.
SICK DAYS:
Medical certificates will no longer be accepted as proof of sickness. If you can go to the doctor, you can come to work!
SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year Saturdays & Sundays!
VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan 1, Jan 26, Aug 15 & Oct 2.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work! There is nothing you can do for the dead. If you really have to go, then funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon, so that you can work through your lunch hour.
YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. But, we require 2 weeks notice so that you can train your replacement.
RESTROOM USE:
To cut the time spent in restrooms, staff will go in alphabetical order.
Names starting with A- 8-8:20
Names starting with B- 8:20-8:40 and so on
In case of emergency swap your turn with a co-worker!
LUNCH BREAK
For skinny people- 1hr (so that they eat & look healthy)
Normal people- 30mins (balance meal to maintain their figure)
Fat people- 5mins (to take a weight control pill!).
Hope you will cooperate with us to create an employee friendly environment!!
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