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Articles: Time Pass | Bumper Stickers
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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• Horn broken. Watch for finger.
• Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
• I brake for no apparent reason.
• It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• Born free...Taxed to death.
• The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
• Laugh alone & the world thinks you're an idiot.
• Rehab is for quitters.
• I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
• Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
• Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
• IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
• Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• I love cats...they taste just like chicken
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
• As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
• Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
• Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
• I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
• Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
• I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
• Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
• If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
• Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students!
• It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
• Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
• Forget about World Peace...Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
• Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
• We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
• Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
• Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
• Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• i souport publik edukasion
• Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
• Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'...till you can find a rock.
• 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
• I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
• 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
• Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.
• Impotence...nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings.'
• The proctologist called...they found your head.
• Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.
• Save your breath...you'll need it to blow up your date.
• Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
• I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.
• WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
• Guys, just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
• Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people 'Everybody But Me.'
• Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.
• Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
• If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
• Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
• Try not to let your mind wander...it is too small and fragile to be out by itself.
• Hang up and drive!
• Welcome to America...now speak English!
• Necrophilia: The uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.
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