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Articles: Humour | Meet God, the Programmer
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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Stop blaming God for your misfortunes! Ask him to debug his system instead!!!
Q: Did God create the world in 7 days?
A: He did it in 6 days while living on cola & candy bars. On the 7th day his girlfriend left him!
Q: When does he intervene in earthly affairs?
A: In case of a critical error, the system pages him & he logs on from home to solve it. Or things can wait until tomorrow.
Q: Why did the Age of Miracles end?
A: That was the development phase. Now we're in the maintenance phase.
Q: Who is Satan?
A: Satan is an MIS director who pretends that he has more powers to scare the non-programmers. God thinks he's irritating but irrelevant!
Q: If I pray to God, will he listen?
A: You can waste his time telling him what to do or you can just get off his back & let him program.
Q: Some people claim they hear the voice of God. Is this true?
A: They are much more likely to receive email.
Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life?
A: He could, if he used the debugger, but it's tedious to step through all those variables.
Q: Does God know everything?
A: He likes to think so, but he is often amazed to find out what goes on in the overnite job!
Q: What is the role of sinners?
A: Sinners are the people who find imaginative ways to mess up the system when God has made it idiot-proof.
Q: Am I unique & special in the universe?
A: There are over 10k major university & corporate sites running exact duplicates of you in the present release version.
Q: What is the one true religion?
A: All systems have their advantages & disadvantages, so just pick the one that best suits your needs.
Q: Some people say God is Love.
A: That is not a question. Please restate your query in the form of a question.
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