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Articles: Humour | Taglines
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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• Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
• Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged.
• She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
• You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will bemisquoted, then used against you.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
• Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
• A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
• Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
• If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving may not be for you.
• Money can't buy happiness, but it makes misery easier to live with.
• Deja Moo: The feeling that you have heard this bull before.
• It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
• The trouble with doing something right the first time is that no one appreciates how difficult it was.
• It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
• The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because she knows the average man can see better than he can think.
• A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.
• Clothes maketh the man; naked people have little or no influence on society.
• Vital papers will demonstrate their versatility by moving from where you left them to a place where you cannot find them.
• The Law of Probability states: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
• What are you doing?!? The message is over, GO AWAY!
• What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
• What do batteries run on?
• What do you mean that 2 years have passed?
• What does Santa do at a house with no chimney?
• What does ignorant mean?
• What does this red button do?
• What else can you do at 3:00 am?
• What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
• What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.
• What goes up has probably been doused with petrol.
• What has four legs and one arm? A happy pitbull.
• What's another word for 'thesaurus?'
• What's brown and sticky? A stick!
• When in doubt, think.
• When shooting a mime, do you use a silencer?
• When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarfs began to suspect 'Hungry'
• When you do a good deed get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
• When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
• When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.
• When your opponent is down, kick him.
• Where does weight go when you lose it?
• Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
• Who cares how it plays in Peoria?
• Who cares who's on board?
• Who glued the cup to the table?
• Whoever has the most when he dies... WINS!
Whoever has the most when he dies... IS DEAD!
• Why are Chinese fortune cookies written in English?
• Why are you looking down here? The joke is above!
• Why are you wasting time reading taglines?
• Why aren't there many Hannukah specials on TV?
• Why be a man when you can be a success?
• Why can't we just spell it 'orderves'?
• Why did you read this?
• Why do they tell us to watch 'The Today Show' tomorrow?
• Why do we read left to right yet turn pages right to left?
• Why does it matter if we all put our pants on one leg at a time?
• Why don't ease, lease, and please sound alike?
• Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
• Why get even, when you can get odd?
• Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
• Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled 'palindromeemordnilap'?
• How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?
• How come wrong numbers are never busy?
• How do I set my laser printer for stun?
• How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it?
• How do you know it's summer in Seattle? Rain's warm?
• How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
• How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog?
• How does one expect the unexpected?
• How long is a short story?
• How long will a floating point operation float?
• How many weeks are there in a light year?
• How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
• How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
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