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Articles: Humour | Dilbert-type :)
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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Take a look at top 10 Dilbert quotes of '04 from some real-life Dilbert Managers.
'From tomorrow, staff will only be able to access the building using security cards. Employees will receive their cards in two weeks.'
(The winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft, Redmond)
'What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.'
(Lykes, Lines Shipping)
'E-mail is not to be used to pass on data. It should be used only for company business.'
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
Boss quote: 'Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.'
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
My sister passed away and her funeral was on Monday. When I asked for a leave my boss said to postpone it to Friday. He said, 'That would be better for me.'
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
'We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it.'
(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
'Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.'
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)
My Boss asked for a project report. I said: 'Wouldn't tomorrow be soon enough?' He said, 'If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow!'
(Hallmark Cards executive)
'This project is so important; we can't let more important things to interfere with it.'
(Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
'No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! Now go act busy for a few weeks and then tell them.'
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing / 3M Corp.)
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