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Articles: Humour | You can't be your boss's darling
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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You can't be your boss's darling
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. 'What is your name?' was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
'John,' the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, 'Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?'
The new guy sighed and said, 'Darling. My name is John Darling.'
'Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is...'
How materialistic can you get?
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver’s side.
The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
'I can`t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,' he said. 'You are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else.'
'How can you say such a thing?' asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, 'Don’t you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you.'
'My God!' screamed the lawyer. 'Where’s my Rolex?'
Native American Indian in cafe
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, 'Me want um coffee'.
The waiter says, 'Sure chief, coming right up'.
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, 'Me want um coffee'.
The waiter says, 'Whoa, Tonto, we're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was all that about, anyway'?
The Indian smiles and proudly says, 'Me training for upper management position. Come in, drink coffee, shoot shit, leave a mess for others to clean up, and disappear for rest of day.”
Bad Interview
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.
The employer read all his applications and said, 'We have an opening for people like you.'
'Oh, great,' he said, 'What is it?'
'It's called the door!'
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