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Articles: Humour | Job Applicants' Jargon
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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An applicant may be guilty of sexual offense when he claims good interaction skills. This is what he means when he says.
I am on the go - I'm never at my desk.
I interact well with co-workers - I've been accused of sexual harassment.
I'm balanced and centered - I'll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the lunchroom.
I'm extremely adept - I can juggle 5 balls. And yes I worked on a computer once.
My relevant work-ex includes - Don't ask me about all the McJobs I've done.
I have formal training - I'm a college dropout.
I am adaptable - I adapted to all 7 jobs I did in 2004.
I have a sense of humor - I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly.
I can handle stress well- I'm usually on Prozac. With cigarette and coffee breaks.
My skills match your needs - You can find someone more experienced.
I'm highly motivated - The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.
Thank you for your time & consideration - Wait! Don't throw me out!
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