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Articles: Humour | How to be smart ?
- Miss gattupalli anusha
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SMART BOSS + SMART EMPLOYEE = PROFIT
SMART BOSS + DUMB EMPLOYEE = PRODUCTION
DUMB BOSS + SMART EMPLOYEE = PROMOTION
DUMB BOSS + DUMB EMPLOYEE = OVERTIME
SO, DON'T WORK OVERTIME!!!
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SMART MAN + SMART WOMAN = ROMANCE
SMART MAN + DUMB WOMAN = PREGNANCY
DUMB MAN + SMART WOMAN = AFFAIR
DUMB MAN + DUMB WOMAN = MARRIAGE
WELL, IT'S YOUR CHOICE TO BE SMART OR NOT!!!
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A MAN WILL PAY $2 FOR A $1 ITEM HE NEEDS,
A WOMAN WILL PAY $1 FOR A $2 ITEM THAT SHE DOESN'T NEED.
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A WOMAN WORRIES ABOUT THE FUTURE UNTIL SHE GETS A HUSBAND.
A MAN NEVER WORRIES ABOUT THE FUTURE UNTIL HE GETS A WIFE.
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A SUCCESSFUL MAN IS ONE WHO MAKES MORE MONEY THAN HIS WIFE CAN
SPEND.
A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS ONE WHO CAN FIND SUCH A MAN.
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TO BE HAPPY WITH A MAN, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HIM A LOT AND LOVE HIM A LITTLE.
TO BE HAPPY WITH A WOMAN, YOU MUST LOVE HER A LOT & TRY NOT TO
UNDERSTAND HER AT ALL.
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MARRIED MEN LIVED LONGER THAN SINGLE MEN, BUT MARRIED MEN ARE A LOT MORE WILLING TO DIE.
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ANY MARRIED MAN SHOULD FORGET HIS MISTAKES, THERE'S NO USE IN TWO
PEOPLE REMEMBERING THE SAME THING.
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MEN WAKE UP AS GOOD-LOOKING AS THEY WENT TO BED.
WOMEN SOMEHOW DETERIORATE DURING THE NITE.
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A WOMAN MARRIES A MAN EXPECTING HE WILL CHANGE, BUT HE DOESN'T.
A MAN MARRIES A WOMAN EXPECTING THAT SHE WON'T CHANGE, AND SHE DOES.
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A WOMAN HAS THE LAST WORD IN ANY ARGUMENT.
ANYTHING A MAN SAYS AFTER THAT IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ARGUMENT.
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THERE IS 2 TIMES WHEN A MAN DOESN'T UNDERSTAND A WOMAN - BEFORE
MARRIAGE & AFTER MARRIAGE.
A Bridge Too Far ...
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an
old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie!
The genie said 'OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah.
This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about getting three wishes. You only get one wish!' The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, 'I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?'
The genie laughed and said, 'That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific?
Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another wish.'
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, 'I've been married and divorced four times. My wives Always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women ...know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'... know how to make them truly happy...'
The genie said, 'You want that bridge two lanes or four?'
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25 Snappy Comebacks 'Why aren't you married yet?'
1. You haven't asked yet.
2. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
3. What? And spoil my great sex life?
4. Nobody would believe me in white.
5. Because I just love hearing this question.
6. Just lucky, I guess.
7. It gives my mother something to live for.
8. My fiancee is awaiting his/her parole.
9. I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
10. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
11. I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
12. It didn't seem worth a blood test.
13. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
14. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
15. My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.
16. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
17. They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
18. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
19. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.
20. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
21. We really want to, but my lover's spouse just won't go for it.
22. I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
23. Why aren't you thin?
24. I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
25. (Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a horrible stuff
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