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Articles: Humour | Love letters
- Miss gattupalli anusha
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Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but
installed undesirable programs.
And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
Reply...
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer
6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoringloudly.wav files.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance.
One more to add, force-usage of Husband 1.0 will cause rejection or deletion of Wife 1.0 program totally.
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Husband: (Returning late from work) Good evening dear....
I'm now logged in.
Wife: Have you brought the groceries?
Husband: Bad Command or file name.
Wife: But I told you to do so in the morning.
Husband: Syntax error. Abort?
Wife: What about my new TV?
Husband: Variable not found..
Wife: At least give me your Credit card. I want to do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing violation. Access denied.
Wife: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
Husband: Too many parameters...
Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband: Data type mismatch.
Wife: You are useless.
Husband: It's by default.
Wife: What about your salary?
Husband: File in use... try later.
Wife: What is my worth for the family?
Husband: Unknown virus.
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Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0, and I can find no documentation on several features. For example, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all otherprograms and launches during
system initiali-zation where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as RunAnywhere 10.3 and StayOut 2.5 cause freezes, and the new program hasalso spawned a couple unexpected child processes that have taken up a lot of space and resources. n I had thought about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but there is no 'revert to previous state' feature.Can you help me?
On my knees,
K. Lewis
Dear K. Lewis,
This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly
due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a 'UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT' program.
Wife 1.0 is actually an entire OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creatorto run everything. WARNING! DO NOT try to: un-install, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. Trying to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disastrous, resulting in the loss of valuable system resources. You can not go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. There is no backdoor; some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0
or Wife 2.0 and found the problems persist, or even tried to runGirlfriend 2.0 in theback-ground while Wife 1.0 is running. Inevitably, a system conflict occurs; possibly leading to a non-recoverable system crash. We recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and
adjust a few user input parameters.
I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). Should a GPF occur, the best course of action will be to push theapologize button then reset
button AS SOON AS lock-up occurs. The system will run smooth as longas you provide needed maintenance time. It is possible to free up CPU time; be sure thatseveral of your search and scan routines are stopped. Because of the unique system each copy runson, no one manual will cover all enabled features. New users should first consult with those who have been running
Wife 1.0 for many years before installing a copy yourself. You might consider joining one of our established local users group to discuss your specificconfiguration. Remember, the installation of Wife 1.0 can allow maximum system potential. Killerapps Contentment 2.5 and Reliability 6.12a have been known to max out 2.0 when run with TLC2 and Communicator 5.0.
There are no plans for upgrades; Wife 1.0 was designed to work for a 3.0 lifetime.
Smile always
Knobs...
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