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Articles: My Thoughts | Pain in Love
- Mrs. dove
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Today, I would like to share my love and emotions for my parents. My parents … are the wonderful persons to me than anyone else. Our family consists of 5 children’s, 7 grandchildren. All scattered, well settled and pinned to their jobs. We all love them very much. I had seen my parents good and tough times and their efforts to give us the BEST of everything. I still remember the days of hardship and pain they suffered for us. I remember them showering their love and affection. I totally give the credits to my parents for what we are now. I know every parent does the same for their children. But still when I remember our childhood my heart melts.
Nine years back I were shocked, when my brother told me that dad had a severe stroke and an attack. We all rushed to them, hugging and crying and we felt lost. It has been 9 years now, dad is still in bed.
Now, a very sad and hurting question is caring for my Dad, a stroke victim, who is totally dependent on others and who requires a lot of attention. Every one has done their part and still doing, And I cannot deny my only brother’s efforts and care. Now I see my Dad has become too much burden for my mummy to watch him. My mother has been caring for him since his stroke. A 50 + year old woman has been left with the job of care taking of my dad., since 9 years after his massive stroke and heart attack. I see the lines of grief on her fore head. Today when I see my parents, I feel more upset to see my mom than my dad. I'm so very lost, Now some nervous weakness has overcome her strength, and left her more broken and wondering about how they can get along. We cannot ignore their pressing needs. Something will have to be done. But what? I see them almost everyday, Their pain make me worse. For me it’s a mental and emotional situation. I feel very sad for my mother now, she has become very week to handle the situation. Its time now that she needs even more attention. What will happen to them now? I Always sense their worried breath. Old age is exalted, and even more with its disabilities. They can no longer take care of themselves, and both will now require full time attention. Their future looks miserable, expensive and dangerous. Dad is soo heart broken with his disability. He often shouts and swore, rip out his cloths and demanding everything.
I never ever expected this. I wanted to do many things and help them, and wanted to stay with them forever. But I’m helpless, and I cannot demand anyone. I simply watch them slowly going towards the door of death. Every day tears wet my cheeks. “I LOVE YOU DAD AND I LOVE YOU MOM… are the silent words deep from my heart. If you ever find yourself in my situation, then you may know my grief and trauma. I wanted to show them how much I love them. But feel helpless. The pain is infinite. I see them suffer so very much, and it hurts me so very bad. I'll never forget my parents, I don’t want them to die in vain. But still sometimes I pray God to take my dad to him, so that at least I can save my mom. I am very angry with GOD. I always ask him why HE has given such sufferings to my parents. And then again I pray God not to give such miseries and pain to any one. I don’t understand what I’m writing, I wanted to put everything out of my heart, but I’m unable to find words of my pain. Just writing this helps.
Love to all. Dove
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