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Articles: Humour | A tech support to de-install Wife 1.0 : Revised Version
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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A tech support to de-install Wife 1.0
Dear Tech Support ,
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other activities of the system. Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5 and Golf 5.3 no longer run and they crash the System whenever selected.
Attempting to operate Sunday Football 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run any of my favorite applications.
I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but de-install does not work on this program as easily as one would expect. Please Help!!
Thank You.
Joe
The much-awaited reply
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem resulting from the misunderstanding of a Basic features of this program. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an operating system designed by its creator to run everything.
You are unlikely to be able to purge wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not backward compatible. In addition it is impossible to fully de-install, delete or purge the Wife 1.0's program files from the system once installed.
Some unfortunate people have tried to overwrite the program and install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See Software Operating Manual: Sections 1, 2 & 3 - Alimony, Child Support and Lawyers Fees respectively.)
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can as soon as they occur. When any faults or problems persist, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:\I APOLOGIZE program and avoid attempting to use the ESC key.
It may be necessary to run the C:\I APOLOGIZE a number of times, but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance program, can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary (Short Skirt Version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.
Best of Luck,
Tech Support
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