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Articles: Time Pass | How stupid !
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods :
* On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
* On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside! (the shoplifter special?)
* On a bar of Dial soap -- 'Directions:Use like regular soap.'
(and that would be how???....)
* On some Swanson frozen dinners -- 'Serving suggestion: Defrost.' (but, it's 'just' a suggestion.)
* On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- 'Do not turn upside down.' (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
* On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- 'Product will be hot after heating.' (...and you thought????...)
* On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- 'Do not iron clothes on body.' (but wouldn't this save us more time?)
* On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.' (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
* On Nytol Sleep Aid -- 'Warning: May cause drowsiness.' (and...I'm taking this because???....)
* On most brands of Christmas lights -- 'For indoor or outdoor use only.' (as opposed to...what)?
* On a Japanese food processor -- 'Not to be used for the other use.' (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
* On Sainsbury's peanuts -- 'Warning: contains nuts.' (talk about a news flash)
* On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- 'Instructions: Open packet, eat 20 nuts.' (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
* On a child's Superman costume -- 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.' (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one --)
* On a Swedish chainsaw -- 'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.' (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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