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Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs? Waiter : Sit down, sir,we serve anyone. Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste? Customer : No, I can't. Waiter : Then does it really matter? Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup. Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers. Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Waiter : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much. Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup? Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller. Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter : Funny? But why aren't you laughing? Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father : No. Why do you ask that? Son : Well, where did you get mummy then? Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the PJKA. Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Surabaya. Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home! Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again? Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time. Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no. First Guy (proudly) : 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy : 'You're fortunate, mine's still alive.' The girl asked her lover, 'Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring? 'Sure,' replied her lover 'What's your phone number?' A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, 'Order, order.'The drunkard immediately responded, 'Thank you, your honour, I have a scotch and soda.' Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Yogya in two days time? Post Master : Well it might do. Customer : I bet you, it won't. Post Master : Why not? Customer : It's addressed to Bandung. An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.' 'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. 'How long has what been going on?' said the man. Girl : Do you love me? Boy : Yes Dear. Girl : Would you die for me? Boy : No, mine is undying love. 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions. Man : How old is your father? Boy : As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy : He became a father only when I was born. Teacher : Correct the sentence, 'A bull and a cow is grazing in the field Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field Teacher : How? Student : Ladies first. Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

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