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Articles: Humour | Two liners..........
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-Henny Youngman
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman
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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
'You know, I was a fool when I married you.'
The husband replied,
'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't
like to interrupt her.
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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.
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A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
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Man is incomplete until he is married,
Then he is finished.
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A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?'
The father replied,
'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.
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A man placed an ad in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted.'
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: 'You can have mine.'
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A woman was telling her friend,
'I made my husband a millionaire.'
'And what was he before you married him?' asked the friend.
'A billionaire.' she replied
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
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It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.
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Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life Thinking they had no faults at all.
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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A man meets a genie.
The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants,
But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says,'Okay, give me a
million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead.'
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Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.
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