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Articles: Humour | Family Definitions
- Prof. 00782 Maverick
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Grandfather -- a man whose daughter once married someone who was vastly her inferior mentally but consequently gave birth to unbelievably brilliant grandchildren.
Grandmother -- a baby-sitter who doesn't hang around the refrigerator.
Father -- someone who has redeemed the money in his wallet for snapshots.
Mother -- the person who feeds the mouth that bites her.
Child -- a lump bred up in darkness.
Aunt -- the only person who would have made a better mother than your mother.
Uncle -- a relative who only seems to like you when he needs something done for him.
Son -- the result of getting what you thought you wanted.
Daughter -- a person who dad likes because she reminds him why he married his wife, and who mother is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her.
Cousin -- the relative most likely to be responsible for your trouble.
Mother-in-law -- a ready source of all knowledge, especially advice, history, and judgments.
Father-in-law -- the fellow who is now happy to have paid for the wedding because now his wife has another man to harass.
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