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Articles: Humour | The Perfect Interveiw
- Miss gattupalli anusha
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Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication
engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before !
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an
admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I
scored badly in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But myfather said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - 'I can not invest so much of money'. (The baap actually said - ' I will never waste so much of money on you'). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakiya Mahavidyalaya
(Agricultural College) he he he...
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Cand: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
Int: But 4+2 is 6.
Cand: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Int: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Cand: No, no. I am talking about Exams!!
Int: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Cand: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was
looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
Int: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Cand: he he he... Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education
itself was so much of pain!!
Int: Let's talk about technical stuff! . On which platforms have you worked?
Cand: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi andAndheri are different locations in Mumbai)
Int: And which languages have you used?
Cand: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German,French, Russian and many other languages he he he...
Int: Why is VC better than VB?
Cand: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher
version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new
language VD!
Int: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Cand: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our Ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Int: What is your general project experience?
Cand: My general experience about projects is - most of the times
they are in pipeline!
Int: Can you tell me about your current job?
Cand: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since
joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that
Bench was another software like Windows he he he..
Int: Do you have any project management experience?
Cand: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and
Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Int: What are your expectations from our company?
Cand: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would liketo work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural
talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term (preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in WestIndies in Feb 2007, I don't mind going there in that period. Asyou can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Int: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to Our Company!!! We look forward to working
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