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Articles: Humour | More Jokes For You.
- Miss Haripriya K
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1) Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided to party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday and they showed up telling the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tyre and they needed a bit more time to study. The professor told them that they could have another day to study. That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.
Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to two separate classrooms to take the exam. Each boy just shrugged and went to two different parts of the building.As each sat down, they read the first question.'For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom.'At this point, they both thought that this was going to be a piece of cake, and answered the question with ease. Then, the test continued. 'For 95 points, tell me which tyre it was.'
2) Teacher: Why are you late?
Webster: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Webster: The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'
3) The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. 'My, you look tired,' she said. 'You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?'
'It was terrible,' her husband said. 'The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking.'
4) The psychiatrist waited until the patient became comfortable on the couch, then said, 'Why don't you start at the beginning?'
The patient said, 'Okay. In the beginning I created the heavens and the earth...'
5) Microsoft is trying to add some humor to its error messages in Windows 2000 and up. Here are a couple of examples:
· Printer not responding; Got a pen and paper handy?
· 3 things are certain in life: Taxes, death, and data loss. Guess which has occured?
6) Singh stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, 'I have a complaint!'
'Yes, sir?'
'I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!'
'What was wrong with it?'
'It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!'
The librarian nodded and said, 'Ahh. So you must be the person who took our phone book.'
7) Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
8) Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
9) Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken.Call the manager! Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
10) Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
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