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Articles: My Thoughts | My thoughts on marriage
- Anaheim Angel
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This one was posted in a thread called ' Is friendship the ultimate relationship '. Hope you don't consider this as a bore? Even if you do, do I care? *L*
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Caution :-
1) Dont read, if you are sensitive to what I post.
2) Its a long article. Dont abuse me if you feel that its lengthy.
Friendship is the only characteristic that distinguishes Humans and Wolfs from the rest of the animal/plant(?) kingdom.
hmmmmmz since in a sense its the only one, we can say it is the ultimate one.
I had a doubt about it, so I posted what one ' Vijay Anand ' wrote in one of the articles. I never did comment about anything here, I was just reading what everyone had to say. Although ' Vijay Anand ' was comparing totally irrelevant things and giving wrong conclusions with his definitions and examples, he did hit the right spot at the end.
People started asking what's the definition of a friend.. hmmmmz EXCUSE ME? Dont you have friends in your life, that you have to ask someone else to define what it means?
People started quoting marriage, Wasnt marriage supposed to be a secure companionship? with legal vows and ties? Where people are bonded together for life to get to know each other, get to understand each other, get to ' live ' together and forward the chain called ' human ' in the right direction, while being there as a male and female together to raise the kids together? ( we dont see the males taking care of the kids in animals, do we? ) The point I wanted to relate to in marriage was, if you dont understand what your spouse wants from you, and from the marriage, then it can't be a marriage right? And doesn't it go hand in hand with the definition of a friend ' Ninnu ardham cheysukuneyvaadu friend ! ' ?
Isnt it as simple as it sounds ? ' ninnu ardham cheysukuney vaadu friend ' You dont have to go to extents to please your friends, thats spoon feeding and it reflects bad taste on the individual who calls himself a friend.
More to the animals, Wolfs exhibit the sort of companionship which ONLY I repeat ONLY humans have amongst all the living things, call it kinship, friendship, companionship whatever you feel like, but its the association, and the ability to work as a team, solve problems as a team that defines friendship.
Maybe before concluding this I can throw some light onto what people think ' friendship ' is. challa mandi ' chinna naati snehithudu ' ani yevarino okarini pilusthaaru ( oppukondi please he he ), manamu yentha aapyayatha tho a sambhodhanaanni vyaktha parusthaamu, Its as if he is/was the greatest thing. Well, this wont last for long, most of the people have a short term memory as far as ' gratitude ' is concerned. Can't blame people, its within the human gene to ' use and abuse ' other living things. It means we just move on with our lives, in every stage we have a set of ' companions ' whom we call friends, They might not go on this journey called life till the end along with us, but they DO serve their part when it is required.
We have friends by relation, and friends by aquaintance hmmmmmmz.
We have what we called classmates, then we have collegemates, then we have colleagues at our work place. Are they friends? I dont know about every one of them, Is it applicable to every one of you? I dont know their roles in each and every one of your lives. Even you might have observed that these set of friends almost constantly keeps changing, You have a different set of schoolmates, different set of collegemates, different set of colleagues ( you tend to give a name here and call them ' circle ' *L* a circle of friends to show that you are a close knit group, allowing nothing out, and nothing in and keep the things between yourself, and so will your spouses ) . Amongst all this, you click with a few, be it from school, college, work, or your in-law's, whom you chose to say ' MY BEST FRIENDS ' proudly when you see them. Are these the people whom you refer to as ' true friends ' ? I dont know. I just know that they are there when you need them, they are there to give you their note-book's when you are ill, and they are there to play cricket and break your neighbour's windows. They are there even to eat away bits and pieces of our ice-cream *L* You tell them your crushes, and they listen patiently. You tell them your marks, and they will be proud or sympathetic ( depends on your marks he he ) and life moves on.
Parents and relatives are the closest thing a kid can get in his early ages, he ( he = human, can be a she also, but I dont want to confuse people by writing ' he/she ' all the time ) just keeps the awe he has for his father and his grandfather. A parent who acts his age, becomes your mentor and a parent who acts your age, to make you feel at ease, becomes your friend. I am lucky enough to have 2 brilliant friends and mentors in my parents. Your siblings are your friends too because they stand by you, support you, cheer you, discipline you ( when needed ) in many aspects of your life.
Life moves on as I continuously refer to, and you have a spouse, you are into a different ball game. You still retain those select few, you cant give your time to your friends like before, but hey.. they would be in the same position as you too. Your spouse is the one that brings you ultimate joy, agreed? how is he different from a friend? He is more than a friend, any married person here would vouch for that. He is half your soul or even full soul however way you want to define it. But where does it all start? It all starts with 2 people sitting together and sharing/amending views, adjusting/progressing thoughts. Its taking friendship into a totally different plane. At this point ( if you are still reading it ) if you think marriage is an ultimate thing, then I have only one correction for you. hmmmz marriage is a type of friendship in another plane. But remember the basic building block is ' friendship ' not ' marriage '. If you have even the remotest of problems in your marriage, you know where you go to. Dont you? *L*
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Disclaimer :-
They gave me a pen to write,
Its not like a den to fight,
Child this is my view commendable, I say
Problem with it? I ain't responsible, any day
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