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Articles: Humour | Marriage - Real Rage
- Mr. Visweswar Zesty
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'A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.'
'Men forget but never forgive, while women forgive but never forget.'
'There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman — before marriage and after marriage.'
'Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.'
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married ?'
And the father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying'.
Young Son: 'Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her ?'
Dad: 'That happens in every country, son.'
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.'
The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'
'Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener !'
'My husband and I married for better or worse — He couldn't do better and I couldn't do worse.'
'You never truly know a woman 'til you meet her in court.'
'An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.'
'A successful husband is one who can earn more money than his wife can spend; A successful wife is one who can find such a husband.'
'A friend of mine won't get a divorce, because he hates lawyers more than he hates his wife.'
'My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.'
'Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy ?
A: Two Mother-in-law.'
First guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel !'
Second guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
'Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.'
'Three rings of marriage: The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.'
'The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.'
'Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.'
At the cocktail party, one woman asked another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger ?'
The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man'.
A married mans agony ' I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.'
'In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.'
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