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Articles: My Thoughts | Love or Arranged Marriage? - Mrs. manjari
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I happen to see some of the opinions of people about arranged and love marriages for and against. But as per my understanding, there is no hard and fast rule that love marriages will fail and arranged marriages will be a success. In both the cases, there is an amount of sacrifice and compromise if both the partners want to make it a success. To have a long and loving married life, both the partners should work for it. In love marriages which are generally outside the caste and entirely from another region, what happens is there is a possibility of so many new issues cropping up. Sometimes there is no commonality in some traditions or practices or the outlook of the relatives also has a bearing on the relationship if the couple is living in the same surroundings. When the boy and girl are in love, generally both of them try to put in their best and the whole world looks heaven. But in reality, once they start living together, small small things become big issues because, one is not prepared to change. So in that case, both the parties have to exercise patience. These days children are very liberal in thinking and they generally think that they know better than parents. But sometimes, it can be true. But in taking decisions which have life long bearing on them, it is always better to study each other and make an assessment whether they can live together happily inspite of some differences. I have seen a couple who got married against their parents advise and just after 3 years of marriage after having a baby, they have created a hell for themselves and for their parents too. It is just because, there is no mutual understanding. So, just to defy parents, please do not go ahead and take decisions my babies! You say 'It is our life. We can take decisions'. Agreed! But when you take that decision, please be strong enough to make that relationship everlasting. Problems can crop up even in arranged marriages. The whole nature of relationship is also linked with temperments, money, environment, attitude and the foremost thing keeping up values and abiding by the principles and goals if one has in any in life. I do feel it is good for a boy and girl to know each other before marriage. Not just one meeting, matching of horoscopes and getting married as per the arrangements of elders. These days children want to live life and enjoy and cherish every moment of togetherness with their partners. Not like before. Just wife confined to household duties and earning and husband dominating her all the time. These days they need to have equal interaction, tastes, hobbies and the main thing is how much the partners or the couple are able to enjoy each other's company. So, the marriages should be a blend of arranged and Love or Love and arranged. It all depends ultimately on both the individuals involved to make it happen. Both of them should put in their sincere efforts to make it a strong and loving reationship as the days pass by. So, I feel it is really time for parents too to think twice before they impose any of their decisions or opinins on their children. Tell them what is good and bad and guide them to lead a happy and healthy life. Let them take the decision and ask them to be ready to solve their issues with logic and steadfastness.
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