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Articles: Humour | You might be an engineer if...
- Mr. HARI BABU GUNDAVARAPU
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You might be an engineer if...
Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
Everyone else on the cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.
On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a yandamoori novel.
The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers and you butt in to correct him
and spend next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
You are always late to meetings.
You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say so out loud.
You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday.
You can name at least six Star Trek episodes.
You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.
You can't fit any more colored pens in your shirt pocket.
You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.
You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
You carry a list for everything except the groceries.
You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run.
You find yourself at the airport on your vacation studying the baggage handling equipment.
You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
You have ever debated who was a better captain: Dravid or Ganguly
You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside.
You have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
You have memorized the Discovery Channel program schedule but have seen most of the shows already.
You have never backed up your hard drive.
You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
You know the altitude limits for turning on and off electronic equipment on commercial flights.
You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys You need a checklist to turn on the TV.
You order pizza over the Internet and pay for it through your home banking software.
You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
You remember half a dozen passwords and your ten-digit Compuserve address, but you have to call your niece 'bujji'.
You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
You see a good design and still have to change it.
You spend more time on your home computer than in your car.
You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
You talk about the high resolution and picture-in-picture capability of your big screen TV while everybody is watching the Superbowl.
You think of the gadgets in your office as 'friends,' but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
You think Sales and Marketing are Satan's children.
You think your computer looks better without the cover.
You walk around with your hands in your two front pockets 99% of the time.
You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
You've ever tried to repair a Rs. 50 radio.
Your four basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine, 2. Fat, 3. Sugar, 4. Chocolate.
Your checkbook always balances.
Your favorite James Bond character is 'Q,' the guy who makes the gadgets.
Your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her.
Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place.
sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies Your Internet bill is higher than your long distance charges.
Your IQ is a higher number than your weight.
Your kids refer to you as The Man Who Sleeps with Mommy.
Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
Your spouse sends you an email instead of calling you to dinner.
Your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.
Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work.
Your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre.
Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.
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