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Articles: My Thoughts | Develop a positive attitude.
- Mr. Siri Siri
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I found myself wondering about the profound difference an 'attitude of gratitude' can make for a person or family.
Gratitude is appreciation and thankfulness, usually for a kindness shown or something received, but that 'something received' can be as important as life itself or as culturally-based as thankfulness for certain foods in preference to others. For instance, when dinner-time comes and my children don't like what is served, I remind them that, just to be polite, I regularly ate raw fish in Japan, and that they should be thankful we don't have crunchy fish heads for dinner. Sometimes they actually break down and eat what is cooked, even if they think it tastes disgusting.
But seriously, a pervading attitude of gratitude is so fundamental that it is a cornerstone of mental and physical health. It is frequently commented on by professionals in many fields, such as my University of Kentucky Extension colleague, Dr. Sam Quick, who compiled some of the following thoughts.
A positive, appreciative attitude is basic not only to good mental health but also to all-around success. One series of studies found that individuals who had positive attitudes and who looked upon stressful situations as challenges and opportunities were more successful in their work. In addition, studies suggest that those who see the glass as half full rather than half empty may be considerably healthier than their gloomier friends and co-workers. When workers were faced with challenging situations, those with an optimistic outlook stayed physically and emotionally healthier that those who lacked this outlook. Peak performers in the business and sports worlds are successful in part because of their positive, optimistic outlook and expectations of success.
Long-term studies show that adults who are optimistic about their health maintain a higher level of well-being than those whose outlook is negative. A positive attitude is an important factor in rate of recovery from surgery.
Learning to see everything in an appreciative, positive way is not easy. However, practice and hard work can help develop an appreciative attitude. It involves directing your thoughts and calming your mind. Here are some ideas that can help.
Talk to yourself.
Yes, I know Aunt Bessie got herself committed for talking to herself, but this is different. We engage in an almost constant stream of 'self-talk,' much of it not very positive.
Developing the gratitude attitude requires that you talk to yourself in a creative, optimistic, appreciative manner. For example, in a moment of leisure you might mentally say to yourself, 'I'm very fortunate to have good health, caring family members and friends, and the freedom to do what I think is best.' In a more trying moment you might school yourself to appreciate difficult people. 'Without those people in my life who so effectively challenge my patience, kindness and self-control, how would I ever learn to grow in understanding, humility and endurance?'
The idea is to begin to see all of life, even the difficult times, as a challenge, an opportunity and a blessing.
You may also find it helpful to 'reframe' the situation. This means to look at it with a different, more positive attitude. For example, a father might see his six-year-old as being cranky, irritable and troublesome. But re-thinking the same child's actions, he might reach the conclusion that his youngster is tired and needs rest.
Reframing is especially difficult, but also especially important, when misfortune strikes. If you wreck your car, that is unfortunate. Yet there is probably much for which to be grateful, including that you are alive and thinking these things over, that no one was hurt, that you have a good insurance policy or that the car wasn't totaled. A person I know suffered a life-threatening illness at a fairly young age. He responded by expressing gratitude for the opportunity to change his eating and exercise habits that he might let him more fully fulfill his life.
Count your bounty. Alone or with a friend, set aside a brief period regularly as a special time of thanksgiving. Think about all of the things for which you are thankful. Share your thoughts. Avoid letting what you lack eclipse your feelings of gratitude for what you have.
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