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Articles: My Thoughts | 8 AvarOdhAlu
- Muralikrishna Midadala
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1. I’ve always lacked confidence, even when I was a little
Confidence is learned, not inherited. So if you lack confidence, it probably means that you were criticised or undermined as a child. Don’t panic – this lack of confidence isn’t permanent; you can still change.
Think back. What negative early messages were you given? ‘I’m no good. I can’t do things.’ Then take each message and contradict it. If your message was ‘I’m not popular’, remind yourself of the friends you have and stick a message on your mirror saying ‘People like me’. Act as if you are popular.
You can rethink the past. You can reinvent yourself.
2. I see myself falling flat on my face – and then I do
What you think, will happen. If you think you’re a failure, you’ll fail. Confident people think themselves successful and they find success. They literally run a kind of internal ‘home movie’ where they are doing well.
So, before something nerve-wracking, run through a positive internal ‘home movie’ of yourself. If you’re going for a job interview, imagine just how well you’ll do and tell yourself you’re going to succeed. Even if you don’t get the job, you’ll naturally do better than if you had imagined the worst.
3. I typically feel so nervous inside that I sabotage myself
Though stage-fright ‘butterflies’ are useful, by reminding us to give our best performance, they can make us so physically nervous that we fail. The answer is simple – by faking it, you can often end up feeling confident quite naturally.
So just before that important piece of work or that big date, relax, then stand tall, hold your head up, relax your shoulders and stand with your weight evenly balanced over each foot. Smile to raise your spirits. If your mouth is dry, bite your tongue to release saliva. Take a deep breath – and go for it!
4. However good I feel, I often look nervous to other people
If you act as though you lack confidence, other people will react to that – often badly.
Use the ‘SET’ plan – smile, eye contact, touch – which picks up on the three elements confident people typically demonstrate.
1. Smile, and you’ll seem relaxed.
2. Hold eye contact and you’ll seem sure of yourself.
3. Touch – with a firm handshake or even just a pat on the arm – and you’ll seem in control.
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