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An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the Senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings. He asked 'How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?' The senator smiled knowingly and took him to the window. 'Can you see the river?' 'Yes' 'Can you see the bridge over it?' 'Of course', said the minister. '10 per cent', said the senator smugly. Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to his house, the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc. etc. 'How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in RS?', he asked. The minister called him to the window. 'See the river over there?' 'Sure', cried the senator. 'Can you see the bridge over it?' The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and said - 'No, I don't see any bridge.' '100 percent', said the minister!! ~*~*~*~*~~**~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, 'JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE.' And the man's companion says, 'JACK DANIELS, SINGLE.' The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, 'AND YOU, SIR?' Laloo replies: 'LALOO YADAV, MARRIED.' -------------------------------------------------------------- Laloo becomes PM (if you haven't cut your throat yet, read on) and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Pervez Musharraf. They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes. Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamour for a statement. 'Pervezbhai will make the announcement' is all Laloo will say. Musharraf comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached! The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours. 'Sab akai-waalon ka kamaal hai,' (All because of the Akai company people) says Laloo. 'Who kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free (They give fridge free if you buy TV, cellphone free if you buy VCR )... tho ham bhi Pervezbhai se keh diye: 'aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!' (SO, I said to Pervezbhai - 'You want Kashmir, right? Take it. But you will get Bihar free with it!') -------------------------------------------------------- Through the center of Lahore there's the new Indo-Pak train speeding along (Samjhuata Express or whatever - which goes between India and Pak). In one compartment of the train there are four people. A beautiful vivacious young woman, an old matronly woman, Mushraff, and our Vazpayee. Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel. It is completely dark. Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap. When the train exits the tunnel, the Mushraff is holding the side of his face, and vazpayeeis grinning his face off. The old matronly woman thinks : 'Now that's a fine young woman, the Mushraff tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!' The young woman is thinking : 'Now that's a strange Mushraff , he'd rather kiss that old hag than me.' The Mushraff is thinking : 'Now that's a smart Indian, he steals the kiss and I get slapped.' Vazpayee is thinking : 'Gee I'm smart! We go through the tunnel, I kiss my hand and get away with slapping Mushraff'

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