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Indian Population census made easy!
- Mr. Siri Siri

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For long, India's colonial rulers divided the country's population by the numbers. And as current-day politicians continue with that unholy task, we present a shortcut to make their work easier. Here's distinguishing India's different cultures by the numbers: MALAYALEES One Malayalee is a narial-pani shop. Two Malayalees is a boat race. Three Malayalees is a Gulf job racket. Four Malayalees is an oilslick. TAMILIANS One Tamilian is a fugitive sandalwood smuggler. Two Tamilians is a suicide-bomb squad. Three Tamilians is a classical music school. Four Tamilians is a Jayalalitha fan club. ANDHRAITES One Andhraite is a cycle-rickshaw driver. Two Andhraites is a spice shop. Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit. Four Andhraites is the Telugu film industry. BENGALIS One Bengali is a rosagulla shop. Two Bengalis is a black-and-white movie. Three Bengalis is a Mohun Bagan support group. Four Bengalis is a Marxist movement. RAJASTHANIS One Rajasthani is a cattle-seller. Two Rajasthanis is a mason. Three Rajasthanis is a puppet show. Four Rajasthanis is a folk dance-drama. GOANS One Goan is Remo Fernandes. Two Goans is a Feni distillery. Three Goans is a football club. Four Goans is an all-night-long beach party. MANGALOREANS One Mangalorean is a supari seller. Two Mangaloreans can't stand one another. Three Mangaloreans is an Udupi restaurant. Four Mangaloreans is a fanatical Konkani Sabha. BOMBAYITES One Bombayite is a hawker. Two Bombayites is a film industry. Three Bombayites is a slum. Four Bombayites is the rush-hour train crowd. MAHARASHTRIANS One Maharashtrian is a bus conductor. Two Maharashtrians is a kabaddi match. Three Maharashtrians is a Ganpati procession. Four Maharashtrians is a Shiv Sena Shakha. GUJARATIS One Gujarati is a share broker in a Mumbai train. Two Gujaratis is the total chatter in a Mumbai train. Three Gujaratis is a rummy game in a Mumbai train. Four Gujaratis is a dandiya-raas session all night long. KUTCHIES One Kutchi is a kirana shop. Two Kutchis is a stationery shop. Three Kutchis is a saree shop. Four Kutchis is the entire Bombay retail trade. SARDARJIS One Sardarji is a truck-driver. Two Sardarjis is a roadside dhaba. Three Sardarjis is a terrorist outfit. Four Sardarjis are always found in jokes. SINDHIS One Sindhi is a currency racket. Two Sindhis is a papad factory. Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop. Four Sindhis is a lot of gas around (yeech!). BIHARIS One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav. Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad. Three Biharis is a caste killing. Four Biharis is the total literate population of the state. BHAIYYAS One Bhaiyya is a milkman. Two Bhaiyyas is a chanawala (or panipuri wala). Three Bhaiyyas is a temple-destruction squad. Four Bhaiyyas is a halwai shop. (And 12 Bhaiyyas is one SMALL family). KASHMIRIS One Kashmiri is a boatman. Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory. Three Kashmiris is a tourist agency. Four Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit. KANNADIGAS One Kannadiga is a coffee estate. Two Kannadigas is a Udupi restaurant. Three Kannadigas is a pepper powder factor. Four Kannadigas is an anti-Cauvery squad. PUNJABIS One Punjabi is chhole-bathure 5 times a week. Two Punjabis is one bottle of whisky in one night. Three Punjabis is a public fist-fight. Four Punjabis is 200 kg of excess weight. PARSIS One Parsi is a sentence punctuated with BC's and MC's. Two Parsis is a doctor and a lawyer. Three Parsis is a 75 year old man and his two unmarried sisters. Four Parsis is half their remaining population. PAKISTANIS One Pakistani is one too many.............. //Culled from the net//

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