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Articles: Humour | J O K E S
- Prof. venkata ramanamurty mallajosyula
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J O K E S
1. Politician, Doctor, and an Advocate
A miser was on his deathbed. He called his three close friends namely a politician, a doctor and an advocate.
He told them that he was handing over to each of them Rs 3,00,000/- saying , “Man, does not take anything with him when he dies. I want to prove this wrong.”
He then requested each of them to attend his funeral and drop the covers containing equal amount on his grave.
At the cremation ceremony each of them dropped a cover on his grave.
Coming out of the crematorium the politician said, ‘I had promised that I would build a temple. So, I spent Rs 1,00,000/- on it and put the rest in the grave. I don’t have any guilt as I have spent the money for a just cause.”
Doctor said, “ I confess, that I spent Rs 2,00,000/- on renovating my hospital. So for a good cause I spent that money. I don’t suffer any guilt pangs.
Now came the advocate’s turn. He confessed, “Friends, hearing both of you was really a shock. I hate you both. I wrote a cheque for full amount and dropped it in the pyre!”
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2. Stammering Station master and passengers
Parul and her son were standing on the platform, next to the platform. She asked him “When will Gujarat Express depart?”
The stationmaster replied, ”Dudrat thespres bill liv at theven tirty thix.”
“OK ! “ She moved away from the man and stood far away . After some time she again moved near the station master and asked, “When will Gujarat Express depart ?”
Patiently the stationmaster replied “Thit this on rite thime. Theven tirty thix.”She again veered away from hum to a corner.
After 15 minutes, she once again approached him to ask, “ When will Gujarat express depart?”
He replied, “Thit lept tat theven thirty thate .Yyu miss…ed the … Thrain.”
No no. We don’t want to go anywhere. It is just that my son likes the way you say ‘theven thirty thate.”
Now sir, when will Gujarat Express arrive?”
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3. Mental hospital , patient and the Doctor:
A patient undergoing medical treatment at the Mental Hospital for the last four years was asked by the Doctor, “We are planning to release you from the hospital. Tell me , what will you do?”
Patient said, “Leaving this place, I will go out of the compound, collect pebbles and stones and smash the window panes of the hospital.” The patient was not released by the doctor on this pretext.
After four months, the doctor reviewing his case again, asked the patient, What will you do after leaving the hospital?”
The mad patient replied. “Fair, I will seek blessings of the senior doctor, then yours. Getting out of the hospital, I will collect stones and then smash the window panes.”
There was no change in the patient’s, mental state, hence he was kept in the hospital for a further period of four months.
Thereafter, reviving his case, the doctor called and asked him, “Now tell me, what are your plans after leaving this place?”
“Sir, I will first thank you and seek blessings of all, here. Then I will go home and meet my parents.”
The doctor was now optimistic that the patient was definitely on the path of recovery.
“ Tell me, after that what will you do?.”
“ Sir, I will marry.”
“Very good, and then?
“ After that, I will enjoy my honeymoon. Then I will tear and shred my wife’s sari to pieces and I will prepare a sling and return to the hospital. I will then use stones on the sling to smash the window panes.”
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