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Articles: My Thoughts | Perfect Marriage
- Mr. Kumar K
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A holy matrimony with commitment is a lasting, faithful, forever relationship - a relationship that can be a powerful witness to a watching world!
'Praised be the three aims of life, virtue (dharma), prosperity (artha), and love (Kama)'.
Being single is an important time to prepare us for marriage. It can also be a time to experience a closer communion with God. Marriage is the second major choice we make in our lives. In our society we have the idea that when we fall in love with a man/woman, this love (emotion) will keep the marriage together. This is far from the truth. Man's emotions are not a reliable gauge upon which to establish a marriage relationship. It is much better to marry for character than for emotion. Emotions fluctuate; character doesn't. Emotions are in the soulish realm, and unless the carnal mind has been renewed.
Our emotions need to be cleansed as they are not the sign of love. The true definition of love is 'God is love.' If God is not in a relationship it is not true love. What this world calls love is really lust since it is built on what the other person does for me, not what I can do for him or her. If the other person fails to keep up his end of the bargain, a divorce occurs because the offended mate is no longer pleased. This is the attitude of the world's so-called 'love'. God's love loves without receiving back; God's love is forgiving and patient. God's love is gentle and kind. God's love waits. God's love sacrifices.
The first step in learning how to love a husband/wife, or anyone else for that matter, is to receive God into our hearts and let Him become our teacher. As we love Him and He loves us, that love spills over to those around us. We learn how to love others through reading, studying and applying God's Word to our hearts and our lives.
The three knots of Mangalsutra/Mangalsuthram signifies
- Dedicating Life to Husband
- Dedicating Life to Wife
- Inviting God in their lives
*Dedication is being Faithful, Loyal, and Trust worthy to your partner.
Many times, after people get married, they cease to be courteous to one another and they are rude and unmannerly. These things start with little things they quit doing to please the other and soon they grow into gross neglect. We should be kind to one another and think about saying nice things that edify and build our marriages instead of the hurtful words that tear them down. This 'little fox' of critical speech in little things can be the root cause that later destroys the marriage.
Listening/Understanding is about dialogue. And dialogue is about connection. And connection fosters deeper intimacy and a closer bond. And it's ultimately very romantic.
When you listen, truly listen, the rewards are immediate. Because the better you listen the better you are appreciated. The better you appreciate the other. The better you are connected. The better your relationship.
Author: Sukumar K (Infosys Technologies)
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