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Spare your time please!!
- Mr. Ajay Ajay

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Eedi Samanjasam???? Hi all! I am 28yrs old male divorced with a child living in USA and dealing with my own stuff and trying to move ahead in life. One of my female friends almost same age of me who is living in diff country started liking me and showed “too” much interest in me and started falling in love with me. I kept pushing her away from me saying that it is not going to work out as our social status differs and she lives in a diff country (I’ve visa probs to sponsor her and she would have to wait for 3 yrs for me to sponsor which she wasn’t ready for, she was after immediate marriage). But to my amazement she never let it go. Not to mention she is totally aware of my past. She kept telling me over and again that I am her soul mate and that she would do anything to get me or will never marry or would sacrifice life ect.( she was even ready to move to USA illegally just to marry me but I did talk her out of it on the name of education). She called me every single day (international call) at times many times and showed “too” much affection on my child. Sent many gifts and presents and involved me in her family and spoke to the child very often. Slowly I started feeling for her, but I was in my control. To be frank for the first year of our friendship I was not into the concept of marriage with her, but later half I totally loved her. We became very good friends. In the process of getting involved in my life and my child’s life she left her job and moved back to India and convinenced her parents and spread the idea of “our” marriage every where, I fell for her, so was with her all the way for her morally and got involved in her family and encouraged her higher education too(she wasn’t a graduate yet, so I kind of thought practically and felt that is necessary for every individual). In this process we had faced couple of tough times as she didn’t give importance to education or anything. For her love was the only thing in entire life and when u look at me I’ve gone thru many tough times so I wanted her to be independent, educated and matured person. Everyone was happy with her progress. She finally got USA student visa for MS and moved to USA. By the time she was ready to move to USA I was totally involved in her and of course she knew it and we were prepared to get married, but I had couple of issues to be taken care of and many personal things were troubling so always asked her time for marriage (one yr) she on and off agreed to that but again bugged me for immediate marriage. She made me trust her so bad that every single day she told me that she might ever lose me but I would never loose her. She spoke to my family and literally cried for my hand. Until now everything is fine as I love her and she loves me and my child has accepted her as parent too. But the twist is, after she moved to USA within 10 days she found someone and got committed to him. When I said to her one fine day that things are fine now so we can marry within couple of months or even earlier, she said she is involved with someone within this 10 days …and unless the “new” person let go her voluntarily she can't get back to me. I was totally devastated. I couldn’t believe that a person who had huge crush over me could change her mind this fast within 10-15 days, when confronted, she told me that its not 10-15 days but she knew him for couple of months on this telugupeople site itself. The person whom she is involved with knows how dearly she loved me all this months (our relation went on for 2 yrs) and every day saw postings meant for me. I asked her that why does she have to do all this to me only to leave me alone after pushing me forcibly into this love?? And the answer I got was that her new friend has influence over her and I did push her too much for the education. ( I was surprised as I heard her earlier saying many times that her studies were stopped abruptly and she would love to keep going so I thought I lifted her). The other silly reason was that she was appreciated too much for her appearance by this “new” friend. I even requested her to discuss this matter with her family and friends and come to a conclusion, but she said “I am doing wrong but this is what I want to do”. All the things which made her fall for me has turned negative traits of me for her at this point. I waited for couple of days and then decided that she isn’t worth my time so did let go. But once again I am left with so many unanswered questions like I was leading my life dealing with my own stuff in my own way and someone comes into life promising too much also promises the little innocent child about the life we 3 are going to live (till date my child picks a greeting card for her whenever we go to the store and I have no answers for that child’s innocent questions) and then just vanish like nothing has happened. I never asked her to come into my life and care for my baby. She made me believe her and then just betrayed my faith and my affections. Is this fair?? Who’s fault is this?? Can a person really change feelings this fast???? My encouragement for her better was wrong??? I am a matured person had hurt already once in life so was being little careful and cautious and of course I have responsibilities to take care of, I cant let go everything just for love, do u think it is stupidity ( that is what I was told by her). The reason I am putting this here today is to acknowledge what has happened and to genuinely know where I went wrong. I feel I am taken advantage of, betrayed, taken for granted and I find it hard sometimes to console myself. I can’t expect her new friend to move away out of the way neither I am wanting that (may be he has his “majboori” to get involved with this girl). Please friends give me your valuable opinion, what should I do?? What behavior is justifiable?? Does this little child deserve to be played with her emotions???? Your responses are definetly going to affect me and my life. Thank you so much for your time!!

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